It is the middle of a Trump presidency. Way, way out there an alien civilisation with very powerful technology has just discovered that there may be significant life on Earth. They discovered this when their instruments detected The Great Wall between the USA and Mexico.
Assuming that this structure represented the center of an emerging civilization, the aliens sent a fleet of starships to investigate. Unfortunately these aliens averaged 600 feet in height, and 20000 lbs. in weight. Even the smallest of their starships were several miles in diameter. Their landing essentially demolished the Great Wall of Trump (paid for by Mexico), although it was not their intent.
From space, they also saw Trump’s hair, which they refer to as “the rug”. One of them gets out of the spaceship to micturate upon it, it was after all a long ride. The entire state of Texas says, “Oh, man, don’t do that. Not on the rug, man. It really tied the country together.” To wit the alien replies, “You see what happens? Ever thus to deadbeats.”
When The Donald discovered he could not wash the alien pee out of his hair he resigned in disgrace. Vice President Palin, on hearing the news, fled back to Alaska and was never heard from again, causing much rejoicing around the world and in the saner parts of the United States.
When The Donald discovered he could not wash the alien pee out of his hair he resigned in disgrace. Vice President Palin, on hearing the news, fled back to Alaska and was never heard from again, causing much rejoicing around the world and in the saner parts of the United States.What happened to this thread here...it was going so good? Really outstanding example of the intellect and participation here. Nobody can keep the story going? Well we all had a good chuckle anyways didn't we?
I don’t like such scary stories. It’s more than any rational human can take.
It is the middle of a Trump presidency. Way, way out there an alien civilisation with very powerful technology has just discovered that there may be significant life on Earth. They discovered this when their instruments detected The Great Wall between the USA and Mexico.
Assuming that this structure represented the center of an emerging civilization, the aliens sent a fleet of starships to investigate. Unfortunately these aliens averaged 600 feet in height, and 20000 lbs. in weight. Even the smallest of their starships were several miles in diameter. Their landing essentially demolished the Great Wall of Trump (paid for by Mexico), although it was not their intent.
From space, they also saw Trump's hair, which they refer to as "the rug". One of them gets out of the spaceship to micturate upon it, it was after all a long ride. The entire state of Texas says, "Oh, man, don't do that. Not on the rug, man. It really tied the country together." To wit the alien replies, "You see what happens? Ever thus to deadbeats."
When The Donald discovered he could not wash the alien pee out of his hair he resigned in disgrace. Vice President Palin, on hearing the news, fled back to Alaska and was never heard from again, causing much rejoicing around the world and in the saner parts of the United States.Unfortunately, the rejoicing was short lived as we watched Paul Ryan sworn in as President. His first Act was to shut down Planned Parenthood clinics and then he signed a declaration that the Lord's Prayer would replace the Star Spangled Banner at sporting and other public events. From there it was on to shrinking Federal "entitlement" programs food stamps, medicare, social security down to such a manageable size, that would be "small enough to drown in a bath tub." But, as if in answer to a liberal prayer, a voice from the Tennessee wilderness rose up to speak common sense to the people and truth to power. And lo they heard https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7kzyRyLO00
Turned out “You’ns don’t read” was the official motto of the aliens. They didn’t create any of the technology they used to observe us, see the wall from space or to get here. They stole all of it from a neighboring star system. They didn’t read the manual for their ship, so they were stuck here. They tried to blend in and not be noticed, so they settled in New Jersey, and it worked. Having bright colored hair and things dangling off your face and walking funny is pretty normal there. Even their enormous size didn’t seem to bother anyone. They started a chain of stores selling shakes made with kale that were high in sugar and caffeine. Things were going pretty well. Maybe too well.