Hoping to Reach a Theist

Hello to All,

My name is Jeff, and I am an atheist.

I met a wonderful woman in January 2017 who happened to believe in God. I was open with her that I was an atheist, and she accepted it fully. She does not like the way people practice organized religion, so we agree on that, as well as on other points regarding religion. We fell in love and got married in August 2018.

Recently, I began reading Bridging the God Gap, by Roger Christan Schriner, a Unitarian Universalist who has experience as a minister and as a psychotherapist. I am making a concerted effort to better understand and connect with my wife. We do not argue or have any trouble with our difference in belief; I just want to know more about her thoughts on God and her reasons for believing so that we can be closer. The book is giving me good ideas with which to start conversations with her; I have had one already since starting the book, and I plan to continue asking questions to start more dialogue.

I wonder how many others on this forum have tried to reach theists or deists, and how they went about it. How much success have you had? Was there a time when you really felt you reached a believer when sharing about atheism or Humanism? What was that like? I look forward to your responses.

Be Well and Happy,

Jeff Bradt

I think it’s astounding that she was okay with you being an atheist. Most people who believe in God tend to think that “non-believers” must be immoral or something. So you’re already ahead!

For a while I belonged to a forum on a Christian website, and I had a good time talking with them about various things. I never tried to talk them out of their beliefs; my whole reason for being there was just to show them that we have a lot of things in common. I got along amicably with most of them. There was just this one moderator that started getting on my case, trying to “prove” that I couldn’t possibly believe in morality because atheists were immoral by definition. Eventually the site just dumped their forum entirely.

Hi Jeff.

My family is highly religious. I’m an atheist too. I have no problems with the family or the church with my atheistic beliefs. I just have enough facts that keep them in check. Separate religion from deities. Religion has been around longer than history and deities, religion goes back into pre-history. History shows the evolution of deities. There are still older religions today that do not use deities. Don’t be afraid to have religion without a deity.

I would suggest picking a type of atheism that you feel close to. I am a deists form of atheist. Mainly because I enjoy studying history, I am a domestication deist.

Another item that could help is how you look at “God”. There is one common factor about god and all religions. And that is they are based upon “knowledge” or controlling some form of knowledge. The term “God” means knowledge. Religion is about the Laws of God. Or the Law of Knowledge and have been passed down through history as part of your heritage.

Ask questions and don’t hold back. And always have fun when you can.

To answer your question. I don’t think it is a good idea to try and change a person’s thinking when it comes to religion or political thinking. It is best just to debate the points and let them go in the direction of their understanding. You are dealing with knowledge. And religious knowledge is controlled by the good, bad, greed and caste forms of ideation. The church knows this and that is why they have been so successful. I stay outside of the bible most of the time. To me the bible is just a branch of religion. And there are a lot of branches that are available today that were not fifty years ago.


Welcome Jeff;

Don’t mind Mike. He’s good in heart.

I met my wife at a very liberal church and became atheist after 10 years of marriage (2nd marriage for both of us). Glad you found a good book to work with. When you finish that one, I’d recommend “In Faith and In Doubt” by Dale McGowan. He also has lots of internet presence so you can look into him. Everything from how to do a non-religious wedding to how to deal with the fundamentalist mother in law.

Recently I joined the Liturgist Community facebook site. They talk about “deconstructing”, meaning they are Christians who are questioning their faith. Might be a place to ask some questions. Also there’s the Naked Pastor who has a community called the “Lasting Supper”. I am not a member but it consists of atheists and theists along the spectrum.

That’s probably enough for your research for now. Keep us informed.

Thanks to everyone who responded. I enjoy reading your input. I look forward to more stimulating conversation on religion, God and atheism.