I have to admit, the grand meaninglessness of this life in which this universe is all a result of random processes does give meaning to many people’s lives to a degree. They are free to live however they want and there is no deity to dictate any grand meaning in their lives. But for me and many others, this just doesn’t work out for us and I am going to explain why.
I am a composer and I have a composing dream to live for. But the only reason why I was able to live for it, pursue it, and find meaning in it and other things in my life is only because I was lucky enough to stay alive since no fatal illness has come into my life and killed me off yet and no other such fatal event has happened to me yet.
I find this to make life meaningless. The fact that I wasn’t chosen to live and that I am only alive here today because of sheer luck in a life that consists of much illnesses and suffering that kills off so many people, it is like I am nothing more than some meaningless cell or bacteria that just lives, thrives, survives, and fades away.
But in a way, that is what we as human beings really are though and that just makes life and my goals/dreams empty and meaningless to me. I have created, what I believe to be, are epic masterpieces in my mind and I have yet to fully learn music theory in order to share them to the world.
That is my goal and dream to share them. But the fact that things are looking a bit grim for me right now since a potential fatality is likely to happen in my life due to my body and immune system not being in perfect shape due to my flawed genetics and whatnot, I worry that I will never get that chance to share my compositions and that I will soon die before then.
So you can see here why I find life to be plain meaningless here. Why I find it empty and basically not worth living at all. We are all nothing more than like a bunch of cells or bacteria struggling to survive. It doesn’t matter how great of a goal or pursuit you have in your life to live for. As long as you are not in healthy shape for survival, you will die off and you will remain dead just like a fading cell or bacteria.
No afterlife to make up for this life and that’s it. If you are just plain unlucky in which you are born with an unhealthy body and immune system, then you are just plain unlucky and it’s just too bad that you have to die before you get the chance to inspire others and do something great with your life. Your goals/dreams that you found profound meaning in can no longer be pursued any longer as such with the example of a famous and inspired singer who has permanently lost his/her singing voice due to some fatal accident in his/her life.
And all because of our flawed biology that is prone to so much suffering, disease, illness, and death. We need lives and bodies that reflect the greatness of us and our goals/dreams. We need immortal bodies and to live lives of no more suffering and illness. We need to find a way to resurrect decayed corpses back to life since so many people have missed out on life and never got the chance to pursue their great and genius talents.
One last thing here. I even find the concept of dying and forever remaining dead to make us and our lives lesser. I don’t find it heroic or meaningful at all for a person to forever die for someone else, anything else, and in leaving a legacy behind for others. The only thing that truly makes you awesome, heroic, great, and living a meaningful life is living on forever, having no suffering in your life, and living in eternal bliss.
Many people would say that one who dies and leaves a legacy behind for others is someone truly great. But I find this very statement nonsensical because once you are dead, you can be nothing great anymore. You are completely wiped out of existence. So how is someone who dies forever great?
Sure, you can acknowledge that they were a great person in the past when they were alive. But that was all in the past. The past is nothing more than just a memory. We are talking about the here and now. In the here and now, this person is gone and nothing is left of him/her.
He/she cannot live on in any other way because this is physically impossible. The only thing that is “living on” here would be the things that are leftover from his/her existential life. Those things being his/her works of art, etc. So it is his/her works of art that are now great. But as for the artist, he/she is no longer anyone great anymore since he/she is now dead.
Therefore, sacrificing yourself to leave a legacy behind and to die for any other given reason should be avoided at all costs since it makes you nothing as an individual. You should instead live all for yourself, your own personal pleasure and enjoyoment, and not bother doing such things that others tell you to do. You are better off living for yourself for all eternity in eternal bliss with no suffering in your life. That is the only life you have to live to give you love, joy, happiness, and meaning. Not this life of suffering, illness, disease, and death.
Happy Thanksgiving Mozart!
You’ve probably heard this before, but seek counselling. Seriously. Having spent large chunks of the last 20+ years not caring whether I lived or died, I can honestly tell you: it will destroy your life. Depression’s not something that just magically goes away or clears up with the right philosophical outlook. And no amount of self-deception will fix it. It’s a problem of brain chemistry.
You've probably heard this before, but seek counselling. Seriously. Having spent large chunks of the last 20+ years not caring whether I lived or died, I can honestly tell you: it will destroy your life. Depression's not something that just magically goes away or clears up with the right philosophical outlook. And no amount of self-deception will fix it. It's a problem of brain chemistry.He's been told this since his first post on these forums. Unfortunately, ML would rather come here and complain than seek professional help. Edit: fixed a typo
You've probably heard this before, but seek counselling. Seriously. Having spent large chunks of the last 20+ years not caring whether I lived or died, I can honestly tell you: it will destroy your life. Depression's not something that just magically goes away or clears up with the right philosophical outlook. And no amount of self-deception will fix it. It's a problem of brain chemistry.He's been told this since his first post on these forums. Unfortunately, ML would rather come here and complain that seek professional help. This is my way of telling you how worthless and inferior I and everyone else are in this life. How this life is meaningless and how the only thing that makes you and your life great is being immortal with no suffering and having pure bliss for all eternity. That is the one and only thing that makes you and your life great. Not your sacrifices or your moral obligations and moral duties.
This is my way of telling you how worthless and inferior I and everyone else are in this life. How this life is meaningless and how the only thing that makes you and your life great is being immortal with no suffering and having pure bliss for all eternity. That is the one and only thing that makes you and your life great. Not your sacrifices or your moral obligations and moral duties.In a way you are right, ML. The universe doesn't give a damn about us and eventually the human race will go extinct, so in the overall scheme of things our live mean nothing to the universe. However, we live in a marvelous planet and have the ability to contemplate such things. We have music. We have friends. We have beer. Life is good.
This is my way of telling you how worthless and inferior I and everyone else are in this life. How this life is meaningless and how the only thing that makes you and your life great is being immortal with no suffering and having pure bliss for all eternity. That is the one and only thing that makes you and your life great. Not your sacrifices or your moral obligations and moral duties.In a way you are right, ML. The universe doesn't give a damn about us and eventually the human race will go extinct, so in the overall scheme of things our live mean nothing to the universe. However, we live in a marvelous planet and have the ability to contemplate such things. We have music. We have friends. We have beer. Life is good. But where I am getting at though is that my life does not matter to me at all and is empty and meaningless to me as long as I am not living a life that is free of death, suffering, illness, and disease. The only profound meaningful life for me is one that is free of all suffering and one that is an eternal blissful one. Since I can't have that life, then my life will always remain empty and meaningless and nothing can ever change this no matter how I think and no matter what I do with my life.
This is my way of telling you how worthless and inferior I and everyone else are in this life. How this life is meaningless and how the only thing that makes you and your life great is being immortal with no suffering and having pure bliss for all eternity. That is the one and only thing that makes you and your life great. Not your sacrifices or your moral obligations and moral duties.In a way you are right, ML. The universe doesn't give a damn about us and eventually the human race will go extinct, so in the overall scheme of things our live mean nothing to the universe. However, we live in a marvelous planet and have the ability to contemplate such things. We have music. We have friends. We have beer. Life is good. But where I am getting at though is that my life does not matter to me at all and is empty and meaningless to me as long as I am not living a life that is free of death, suffering, illness, and disease. The only profound meaningful life for me is one that is free of all suffering and one that is an eternal blissful one. Since I can't have that life, then my life will always remain empty and meaningless and nothing can ever change this no matter how I think and no matter what I do with my life. That's like saying, because darkness exists, light sucks.
But where I am getting at though is that my life does not matter to me at all and is empty and meaningless to me as long as I am not living a life that is free of death, suffering, illness, and disease. The only profound meaningful life for me is one that is free of all suffering and one that is an eternal blissful one. Since I can't have that life, then my life will always remain empty and meaningless and nothing can ever change this no matter how I think and no matter what I do with my life.You want something that isn't possible. If you aren't going to take our advice and get professional help then at least quit whining.
But where I am getting at though is that my life does not matter to me at all and is empty and meaningless to me as long as I am not living a life that is free of death, suffering, illness, and disease. The only profound meaningful life for me is one that is free of all suffering and one that is an eternal blissful one. Since I can't have that life, then my life will always remain empty and meaningless and nothing can ever change this no matter how I think and no matter what I do with my life.You want something that isn't possible. If you aren't going to take our advice and get professional help then at least quit whining. But this is all I got in my life. That is the only thing that can ever give my life meaning. As long as I have to live a life of suffering and depression, then it is like I am being suffocated by a pillow. My good moods and me living on forever in eternal bliss with no suffering in my life is like the air I need to breathe. This is not just some fancy want like someone who wants a brand new car or hdtv. This is an absolute need in my life. This is the one and only thing that gives my life profound meaning, joy, happiness, love, and inspiration. To deny me that is like locking up an innocent free wild animal in a cage and suffocating it with a pillow. This is all that matters to me in life and this is all I came here for in life. Nothing else matters to me without my feelings of pleasure (enjoyment) and as long as I have this depression, suffering, and death in my life. I would just give up and end my life if I don't get that blissful life I need since it is the one and only profound meaningful experience for me in life.
...me living on forever in eternal bliss with no suffering in my life is like the air I need to breathe. This is not just some fancy want like someone who wants a brand new car or hdtv. This is an absolute need in my life.Like I said: you want the impossible. This is not a need for a well adjusted person. You don't need a perfect life, you need counseling. We've been telling you that for almost 18 months and you keep coming back with your whining about needing a blissful eternal life. It ain't gonna happen, so you need to get professional help and possibly medication.
...me living on forever in eternal bliss with no suffering in my life is like the air I need to breathe. This is not just some fancy want like someone who wants a brand new car or hdtv. This is an absolute need in my life.Like I said: you want the impossible. This is not a need for a well adjusted person. You don't need a perfect life, you need counseling. We've been telling you that for almost 18 months and you keep coming back with your whining about needing a blissful eternal life. It ain't gonna happen, so you need to get professional help and possibly medication. You know what? I am just going to give up then. If this body cannot give me immortality and eternal bliss, then I am not even going to bother living in it. If it is only going to give me suffering, depression, and death, then I am not going to bother living anymore. Also, my desires are completely natural. It does not imply a mentally unstable person who needs counseling at all. After all, most of us as human beings are hardwired to seek pleasure and avoid pain/death. So many people are hedonists like me and it is only completely natural. Unfortunately, what is natural does not always work out for us. Therefore, this life doesn't work out for me. So I don't think I should bother with it any longer.
ML, you are not a hedonist. Hedonists enjoy the pursuit of pleasure, you demand constant pure pleasure. You are a nihilist, and an unstably extreme one at that.
Mozart Link, don’t forget that you said this, in another thread,
“When I am in a good mood, I have entered heaven. My life is full of bliss, joy, happiness, inspiration, and good meaning. My good moods are a sacred divine transcending life force far beyond any of my other mental functions. This is what my experience of my good moods are like to me.”
So you are capable of having good moods. You may have a lot of lows, but you have highs. You owe it to your future self to stay alive enjoy those moods.
And before you do anything rash, call this number, 1 (800) 273-8255
Or you can chat with someone online http://hopeline.com/
ML, you are not a hedonist. Hedonists enjoy the pursuit of pleasure, you demand constant pure pleasure. You are a nihilist, and an unstably extreme one at that.Then consider me a nihilistic hedonist. Both me and my mom agree on a certain way of life. She also thinks that there is nothing good about suffering, depression, and forever remaining dead with no afterlife. She too would avoid it at all costs. She too thinks there is nothing good at all about the "suffering artist" concept of life in which an artist suffers from depression and whatnot and that this depression and suffering is supposed to somehow give meaning to his/her life and to his/her works of art for him/her. So me and my mom both have a profound bond because we both agree that living in eternal bliss is the only greatest life there is. It is like a profound family moment for me and my mother. Because of that, I expect for me and my mother to live such a life. It is only expected that her outlook on life that I am so bonded to should create some sort of deflective shield around me that deflects all suffering, pain, misery, absence of pleasure, and death out of my life. In other words, since we are all bonding family, then it is only expected that we are like bonding heroes more powerful than the suffering and death in this life in which no suffering or death can ever come to us. Our pureness and oneness as a family will dispel it out of our lives for good and we can all live in eternal bliss. Or, at least, that is how it should be. But it's not. And now I find myself enraged and frustrated due to the fact that no such thing can happen and that I am all alone to fend for myself in a world of suffering/depression that I hate so much. I wish I was never prone to such a life of misery, suffering, and death. I wish I was an exception in this life who does not have to suffer, die, or live by the morals of others who want suffering and death in their lives and find meaning in it unlike me. My attitude is this. Those who find good meaning in their suffering death, then they can have it. Let them be in pain, misery, and death then. I could care less about these types of people. But as for me, keep it the hell away from me. I wish to be no part of that life. If I have to inevitably become a part of that life, then I will not put up with that. I will end that life. I see this life as being all to myself to live however I want to. I see life as my own personal kingdom for my own personal enjoyment (pleasure) in which I can choose to live on in eternal bliss with no suffering in my life. I wish to be a composer who lives to be awesome, transcended, great, and to have no suffering, death, or illness bring my life and my good moods down. Since I have finally moved on from playing videogames to a greater pursuit which is composing, then I also expect my life to be greater as well. A greater goal/pursuit with a lesser life of much pain and misery is completely contradictory to me. I absolutely expect to live an eternal blissful life when pursuing a truly great goal/dream and talent which would be my composing. I am a composing artist and I can shape my own world of composing how I want and to create any composition I want. Therefore, I also expect the same from this life itself. In other words, I expect to shape this physical reality however I want it to be in order to be compatible with my composing dream. This life of depression, suffering, death, and illness is completely incompatible with me and my composing. As things are looking now, I could die any day since I have chronic inflammation that is causing me upper intestinal bleeding and I just might die before I get the chance to do something truly great with my life. So you can see here why me living a life of eternal bliss and no suffering is absolutely necessary for me and why it is the only profound meaningful life for me. So if I ever die, then please share this message to scientists around the world and have them revive me since I do not believe in the afterlife and think that science is the only way to make up for this life of suffering, illness, and death. If I ever become revived to live a life free of death and suffering, then I could then make up for that lost life in which I never got the chance to pursue my composing and share my compositions to the world. In a way, I personally view the suffering, illness, and death of this life as a curse brought unto me in order to prevent me from pursuing my dreams and also from living the life I find meaningful. It's as though it is there mocking me. First, I finally got the chance here to pursue a truly great dream and talent. Then I develop depression, anhedonia, and this intestinal bleeding which all says to me that everything is trying to stop me and bring me down. But little does this curse know that I have complete power over it. If it doesn't listen to me, then I will take myself down with it. I don't believe in curses. So this is just a metaphor for what this life is to me. I only came here to live a life of pure eternal bliss and no suffering even though such a life is impossible and a fantasy. To me, it is a fantasy for people to still find meaning and live on with lives of much suffering and depression. When I look at anime or videogames in which there are heroes who still struggle on in life and find meaning in such a struggle, this to me is just a child's fantasy of life. Let's get real here. Many people are suicidal and many people find no meaning in their lives like me when they struggle with depression. Those who do find meaning are delusional. It is no different than how religious people still think there is a God even despite all the suffering in this life. This also applies to depressed and suffering people. They think that there is still meaning and joy in life despite depression, suffering, and not having your good moods. That to me is just nonsense. But the thing is, I wish I lived a blissful fantasy life in order to escape from the suffering, death, and this sense of realism in my life because me having those things only brings my life nothing but misery and no meaning at all. When I watch an anime or videogame, all the suffering being presented in that world has a completely different context. It is all in the context of an amazing, joyful, beautiful, and awesome world of fictional environments and characters. Therefore, in a way, all the suffering in that world is actually not suffering at all to me. It is just all some child's fantasy of growing as an individual and finding more meaning in your life. But all the suffering and death in this life has a completely different context. It is all in the context of a completely hopeless and unfortunate universe in which so many people are suicidal and find no more meaning in their lives. Now many artists are inspired by suffering and can relate to and are inspired by the suffering being presented in anime/videogames. But this is not me. I cannot relate at all and nor am I inspired by suffering, death, and depression. Like I said before, that child fantasy does not exist here in this world and there is no way I can even begin to relate my world of suffering, death, and depression to this child fantasy that is presented in art, anime, and videogames. I only find myself having a connection, relationship, bond, profoundness, meaning, and inspiration to the world of anime/videogames through my good moods alone. When I compare the immense suffering of my life of depression to the world of anime/videogames, it is like they are two drastically different universes. I cannot even begin to be inspired or relate. When I struggle with depression, then it is like I am completely cast out of the meaning here in this life as well as that being presented in anime/videogames I love so much.
“I see this life as being all to myself to live however I want to.”
And so you should. Who else’s life could it be but your own? Let your light shine my friend.
"I see this life as being all to myself to live however I want to." And so you should. Who else's life could it be but your own? Let your light shine my friend.But here's where I am getting at. What I meant by that statement was that I am not allowed to live a life of pure eternal bliss and no suffering that I find so much profound meaning it. So I am not free to live the way I want and this is driving me to rage and depression.
"I see this life as being all to myself to live however I want to." And so you should. Who else's life could it be but your own? Let your light shine my friend.But here's where I am getting at. What I meant by that statement was that I am not allowed to live a life of pure eternal bliss and no suffering that I find so much profound meaning it. So I am not free to live the way I want and this is driving me to rage and depression. Yeah, I read that part too, but I wanted to highlight this part. I think it starts here. If you were perfectly happy with life as it is, then there would be nothing to be frustrated about. There would also be nothing to strive for. So if you are having emotions, like rage, you must want something from life, that is, you are alive and you have a life. That's what I'm getting at.
"I see this life as being all to myself to live however I want to." And so you should. Who else's life could it be but your own? Let your light shine my friend.I figure Mozart Link is about 17. That would explain everything. LL
"I see this life as being all to myself to live however I want to." And so you should. Who else's life could it be but your own? Let your light shine my friend.I figure Mozart Link is about 17. That would explain everything. LL Age and maturity have nothing to do with it. Rather, my attitude has every bit to instead do with how I personally find meaning in my life. Growing up is all subjectively defined and what is spiritual growth to you is not spiritual growth to me. For me, living on in eternal bliss with no suffering is the greatest spiritual growth for me as a person. So I would be a fully grown individual if I were to live such a life in a pretend situation. By my definition, even a young child who is blissful and lives his/her life going to a playground just to have fun is a fully grown individual since he/she has his/her good moods to give him/her spiritual growth. To me, living in eternal bliss with no suffering is the one and only source of spiritual growth. To me, it is not spiritual growth at all for someone to do something such as sacrifice his/her sense of hope and comfort (good moods) for the sake of knowing the harsh truth of this universe. It's as they say. One man's trash is another man's treasure. So your definition of growing up and how you find meaning in your life is trash to me. I would never choose to live that way. Not in a million years. I would choose to sacrifice this depressed life that I am having due to my enhanced intelligence and awareness of truth for the sake of having my blissful childhood life back. I mean, how would it make any sense for me to choose a life that is nothing but empty and meaningless to me? If something gives your life no meaning and takes away the meaning in your life, then the only logical choice here would be to try and avoid that at all costs. Since my life of materialism and depression/anhedonia makes my life seem empty and meaningless, then of course I would want to try and convince myself somehow of the existence of the afterlife regardless if that life actually exists or not and of course I would choose to sacrifice this life for my blissful childhood life back. Growing up, becoming older, developing problems of depression/anhedonia, and realizing life's truths makes my life nothing but empty, hopeless, and meaningless regardless of how I use this to my advantage and to others' advantages to help them out in life. So why wouldn't I want to go back to a state of blissful childhood ignorance? If you are going to frown upon me for this, then don't. There is no reason to. It would be no different than if I had some item I threw away because it was trash to me and someone came up and frowned upon me for throwing it away. Well, this person shouldn't because this item was just simply trash to me and it is treasure to him/her. So the idea that I view life as meaningless and not worth living (trash) without my good moods should not be frowned upon either since this is just who I am. As a matter of fact, even me choosing to save my mother's life would be empty and meaningless to me as long as I am suffering from depression and don't have my good moods. If I did not enjoy (take pleasure in) saving my mother's life, then it is a matter of nothing more than me simply choosing to save her life since I am not some cruel individual who would just leave her to die in a brief given moment. But that is not the same thing as having meaning and joy in my life. That can only come through my good moods. So even though I would choose to save her life in a given brief moment even while struggling with depression and not having my good moods, I would never choose to live most or my entire life like that. So if I had to live most or my entire life like that in order to save her life, then that is when I would just give up on trying to save her life and I would just end my life since my life and saving her life both no longer matter to me anymore without my good moods. I would never expect the same from her either. In other words, if she gave up on trying to save my life since she could not enjoy doing that, then I would completely understand if it was a matter of her giving up because she is living most or her entire life without her good moods in saving my life. When we are talking my daily life here, then I expect to enjoy it. That's what I live my life for and is my only reason for living it. Therefore, moments of suffering/absence of pleasure in my life should only be for given brief moments. The remainder of my life should be lived enjoying my composing and this life. That includes enjoying inspiring others through my compositions. If I can't have any good moods when doing any of that, then I am going to give up on it all. That's all I came here to live for. It's no different than how if there were a bakery shop with all these different types of cakes with different frosting. There is only one type of frosting that I like that makes all cake taste good to me. This frosting would be my good moods. My good moods are like a delicious frosting that makes the cake taste good. Without this type of frosting, then the cake won't taste good to me anymore. So that's what this life is like for me. Without my good moods, then this life and my composing no longer matter to me anymore and they have no more good meaning to me anymore. All other frosting tastes bland to me. In other words, trying to find good meaning in my life through my intellect alone without my good moods just isn't going to work. Intellect is like a bland frosting that makes life nothing good at all to me. Only the profound sweetness and deliciousness of the frosting of my good moods gives meaning and joy to my life. Life is also no different to me than a store. I came here to get the items that I needed. If this store doesn't have these items for me, then I could care less about it. I would just exit the store. All other items are of no interest to me since they do not suit my desired goal in life. If a person is a garden worker since that is how he/she finds meaning in his/her life and he/she came into a store to get garden tools and this store didn't have them, then why should he/she buy other items that are of no use to him/her? Why should he/she buy other items geared towards other careers such as school working or construction working if he/she is not a school worker or a construction worker and finds no meaning in those given careers? If he/she so happens to have such items in his/her life, then they would mean nothing to him/her either since it is only the items geared towards his/her life of garden working that matter to him/her. Even living his/her life giving items to others means nothing to him/her since he/she only came here to live for his/her life of garden working. But if you were to take away his/her life of garden working and all his/her garden working tools to where he/she can no longer pursue his/her life of garden working anymore and you were to then expect him/her to live a life of construction working or school working with tools suited for that purpose, then it is only expected that he/she just gives up on those careers and this life since it was only his/her life of garden working that will always mean something to him/her and is the only career he/she came here to live for. So that is what this life is like for me. I am a hedonist and the only tool that suits my purpose in life is my good moods since that is what hedonism is all about is the good moods (the pleasure). Without my good moods, then it is no different than expecting me to live the life of that garden worker who has lost his/her life of garden working and is expected to live a life of construction working or school working. Both me and him/her can no longer live the life that gave him/her meaning anymore. Both me and him/her would just give up since this new life for both of us is nothing but empty and meaningless to us. It isn't who we are and isn't what we came here to live for. You have to understand here that my good moods are extremely profound experiences for me. They are the one and only things that make everything in my life including my own family come alive to me, make them become vibrant to me, and give me joy and meaning. My good moods are absolutely necessary to find profound bond, connection, joy, and meaning in my life.