In my head I have dozens of stories about watching my new little pal going from two weeks, to nine months, in a few days here. Have been dropping in roughly every month. This time its been longer than usual, a couple weeks and tomorrow’s my last day before leaving early Friday. I try to keep most of it to myself, it is a private thing, but today was such an amazing day. Won’t share the video but want to write about it.
It started when I was being amazed with his increasing control of his bottle once it down to 6ish ounces. Even flying it about one handed and then getting it right into his mouth, we’ll okay, an ever so slight correction, but his cheek nerves stepped up and his hand made the slight adjustment to scoot that nipple right between his lips, no problemo, down went the last 4 oz, so I was happy.
Then one the course of the day watching him standing up at the couch with increasing confidence. Of course, he’s been learning everyday, but then a day comes by - you know like that first day of the year when it feels like spring is in the air. Today felt like that sort of day, as though he’s transitioned from a curious spectator to an engaged kid.
Later, me just sitting doing nothing, letting him be. He crawled off and across the room to his toys and then went from one toy to another focused and playing with this and that, then moving along to the next. Then we went off to play catch and chase with a small ball, and he spent the next fifteen minutes crawling all over like a champ. Lordie should of seen his pants when we were finished, got those changed before mom came home for sure.
I called my wife and told her, he’s a real kiddo now, she gets the videos. 
It is beautiful and meaningful to watch, and spiritually uplifting like nothing in a long while. Yes, Xian, meaningful.
I recall about five weeks back celebrating his first solo crawling forays with pride, - watching as over time he got ever more control over those flaying arms and being able to rise up on all fours. Then getting those knees moving forward, then the “thrust and crash.” Because his arms hadn’t quite figured out what they were supposed to do once they got the body up. But it got him across the room when he really wanted. Oh but they keep learned in a hurry. Now days if something catches his curiosity, he can jet across the room and into another one by the time you’ve swallowed a sip of coffee.
The beautiful thing about being the Napa, is I’m free of all the worries and tensions his younger parents are going through. Been there done that, now it’s time to pay attention and appreciate my little one for the wonder that he is, and I sure am. (Nana - Napa, get it, i take the names they give me : )
Considering all is fractals, it’s a sort of pageant of Humanity and Evolution unfolding right before my eyes in double time. It’s amazing, it’s wonderful and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of it.
Oh and here’s one for you Xian, I don’t mind it ultimately being “meaningless” - right here and now it has all the meaning in the world for me.
Hell in a way he’s my spiritual psychological lifesaver, allowing me to look away from what’s happening in Washington and our Nation and remembering a greater good out here in this world.
Xian, it seems to me you keep trying to force rules onto life. But that just doesn’t work, life is too busy tossing surprises at us. Life doesn’t care about our rules or desires. Life and the day to day is what’s really is real - and that does matter today, here, now.
Why do people find that hollow, why this need to pretend we can or should be like Mount Rushmore?
