Cuteness is weakness

One thing I hate a lot is being called cute. I don’t know why other gay men think it’s a compliment but it’s pretty insulting. It’s implying I’m weak or incapable or childish. I get that I have a baby face and don’t look my age but I’m an adult man. Children are cute, not me. Yet I get it quite frequently and it’s very annoying. I don’t think people understand the reality behind what is cute and why we do such a thing. If they did then they’d find another word for it all.

Xain said; If they did then they’d find another word for it all.
What word would you prefer? You realize this is an aesthetic choice ?

How is cuteness a weakness? I’m a little woman- 4’ 11" and I don’t mind being called cute. I don’t think it’s weak either. I don’t think being cute is just for children.

It is being weak, that’s actually the origin behind it. Things that are cute bear some qualities of human infants. It’s not a matter of aesthetic choice but knowing the reason behind us thinking something is cute.

Xain, you sound Asian. We are all Americans here. Asian cuteness is baby like. American cuteness to a hot chick is a 180 pound quarterback hunk.

I don’t see it as being weak. I guess it’s all in how one defines it, but remember, dynamite comes in small packages.

I’m not Asian, just someone who knows what it really means and why we think so and not like everyone else who remains ignorant of how it’s really a put down, albeit a benign one.

I really don’t think it’s a put down. It’s all a matter how you view it. If you want to believe it’s a put down than to you it is, but if one doesn’t view that way and takes it all in stride, then it’s not. As I said, one maybe little and cute, but just remember dynamite comes in small packages.

Except humans aren’t dynamite and it’s not a matter of how you take it, that is simply not true. IT’s a matter of what IS and what it IS is viewing something as weak and lesser in a sense, “safe and subdued”. That is biological and it leads us to attribute “cute” to things that aren’t human infants but bear similar qualities. People don’t get that it’s a put down, so regardless of what you believe the reality is that it is a put down.

The dynamite bit is a figure of speech. Dynamite is strong and the figure of speech relates to strength. Strength isn’t necessarily physical. It could be brain power, thinking quick on your feet. So it is true that being cute does not mean one is weak. It’s not a put down and I’m serious about that as a person who is 4’ 11" and has always been tiny in all ways. Physically I might not be much, but I have a lot of brain power and that strength has gotten me through a lot of things. I’ve caused a man who is almost 6’ tall to fall to his knees, but he’s my ex-husband and not the greatest guy. Strength doesn’t have to be muscle.

It doesn’t mean you are weak rather you appear so, like an infant. In my case it’s because I look young despite being 28

I look younger than my age too… at least so people tell me. I think just being little/short causes people to perceive one as weak, but being cute has nothing to do with perception of weakness. Dwarfs, of which many are cute, are little and people perceive their size as being weak. The dwarf could be butt ugly and some people may think of them as weak due to how short they are. Cuteness has nothing to do with being perceived as weak. Small size, on the other hand, people see as weak, helpless, and incapable. It very easy to find a tall person will to assist me in getting something off a very high shelf. 1. I’m short 2. I can’t reach without climbing, but that’s not allowed in many stores (liability and all), so to others I’m 3. helpless However, I can work it in my favour when I need something by being short, polite, and cute. Therein lies the strength in some people’s cuteness- they use it to their advantage. I often take advantage of people viewing me as cute when I need something, especially something out of my reach due to my size. Picture it- a little lady trying to reach something over her head but can’t and then she asks you if you would mind assisting her. Of a tall person agrees, often with a smile. I just used my politeness and perception that I’m cute to get what I need, thereby surviving. That’s power, IMO.

It’s not really power since you are at the mercy of others more able than you. You just proved my point.

Cuteness well played wraps others around your lil pinky. :wink:

Xain said; It’s not really power since you are at the mercy of others more able than you. You just proved my point.
No the point is that all assigned labels are determined by others. And how you appear to others is very much up to you.

You can be the “life of the party” or you can be a “party pooper”. It up to you to decide if you want to be a “good guy” or an “asshole”.

Fatalism is not an attractive characteristic.

Fatalism generally refers to any of the following ideas:

The view that we are powerless to do anything other than what we actually do. [1] Included in this is that humans have no power to influence the future or indeed their own actions.[2] This belief is very similar to predeterminism. An attitude of resignation in the face of some future event or events that are thought to be inevitable. Friedrich Nietzsche named this idea "Turkish fatalism"[3] in his book The Wanderer and His Shadow.[4] The view that the appropriate reaction to inevitability is acceptance, rather than resistance. This belief is very similar to defeatism. Some take it to mean determinism.
CC-v.3 said; Cuteness well played wraps others around your lil pinky.
Amy Schumer is "cute", but far from being at the mercy of others.


Xian, CitizensChallenge and Write4U have it right and you’re totally look at cuteness all wrong. I didn’t prove your point at all because I got someone to do what I needed. It’s a matter of survival and actually, I’m not at anyone’s mercy. I can climb, but as I said, stores frown on climbing on their shelves because it’s a liability for them. They worry about human apes falling, whereas I’ve been climbing at home for a lifetime even though I’m getting a bit old for it, but out of respect of store managers etc not wanting people to climb, I wrap tall people around my pinky. If there’s no one around, despite store cameras today, I do climb on the shelves. Although it’s getting rarer that no one is around now days. I’m at no one’s mercy and I can use how I appear to others at my advantage. Another advantage when I wasn’t married, it gave the perfect opportunity to flirt with a cute guy. Again, cute here is not weak, but a good thing. Cute guy is tall enough to get what I need and I can get him to do my bidding with my cuteness, maybe score a cup coffee. The case of my current husband, I have a cute guy to get things over my head almost any time I need something. With cuteness, one can get what they need and maybe score a cup a coffee or maybe even a spouse.

Cuteness is great, especially if you also get a cute guy too. IF you look at it in the case of evolution, those who survive figure out how to turn a disadvantage into an advantage in order survive. Babies are cute and do things, like cry for food, in order to survive. You are at their beck and call. Sure, you could chose to ignore and neglect them, but that just makes you a monster and look bad, whereas if you serve the baby, you look good and the baby gets what it demands in order to survive. Most people don’t want to look like a neglectful monster, so when the baby demands to be fed they feed the baby.

Many a critter has pretty colours and looks cute in order to attract a mate or even find prey. They use their appearance to get what they need to survive- either to perpetuate the species or get food. One type of moth has a look similar to another, in which it looks like prey, but if something tries to eat it, the powder on it’s wings poisons the predator. This is done in order to survive. The cute colours of the coral snake look a lot like the scarlet king snake (for one similar). This similarity has the ability to throw some prey off, including humans and the same can work in reverse, scaring certain predators away. All animals use their looks and even behaviours in ways to survive, because if they don’t use their looks and behaviour then they don’t survive. Why do you think people through out history have taken care of cats? Cats know we think they are cute and if they stay cute and love on us, we will treat them like gods. Cats, who are not feral, are always using their cuteness on us to get what they want, because they know it’s an easy way to survive. Why do it the hard way if you can get a human to do it for you? Sometimes feral kitties figure out life is easier if they use their cuteness to score a human to take care of them. So many humans see a cute kitty and do no-no’s like leave food on the porch for them. Easy survival for the kitty and like hobos they mark the house and maybe even tell other cats where to score free food if they can build up the courage to be cute for the human. Cuteness is a win, especially in survival.

You are at a baby's beck and call.
Ain't that the truth.

Not only all that, but your interactions with said baby influence what that baby turns into - that matters to the future situations that child will find itself in.

And it impacts the other people in that baby’s life and so on and so forth.

Xain, you like to think you are an island onto yourself, that is an illusion.

Think of cascading consequences - it’s much more than a cute sounding term.

I am not at the baby’s beck and call and Mriana you still don’t get it do you. What you consider a strength is really a crippling weakness. Your also misapplying what cute actually is. Animals look like other animals that are harmful to detract predators but that has nothing to do with cute, that’s looking like something dangerous to avoid attention but that still isn’t what cute is. To be cute is to be weak and helpless, humans find things cute because our infants are the same. It’s not a strength to be called or found cute. You forget cute is a human thing. Your efforts only work because of the mercy of others, and you are a fool to think this is “wrapped around your finger”. People who think that are stupidly unaware of how close they are to losing such a thing, as opposed to people who are strong and able enough on their own. You also forget human infants are different from most animals in that they are completely dependent on parents for a few years unlike most other animals. You are at the mercy of the goodness of others and if we didn’t live in modernity and with this current set of morals you would likely perish.

You are trying to equate what animals do with appearance and trying to apply that to humans and it fails because the parallels aren’t the same.

I would like to ban the phrase, “you don’t get it”. It’s pure ad hominem.