Still haven’t gotten to things, can you believe that? I’m an alcoholic, that’s for sure. I’ve downed a six-pack by now and still haven’t opened my books. How will this end? – Pretty good if you ask me. But it does remind me of some AA sessions. Good intentions all day long, and once the sun sets you’re all drunk and nothing got done. And when asked why… I don’t know, it “just happened". Well, it “just happened". I’m getting pissed with myself here.
BUT, thanks to this forum I’m straightening out. At least some intellectual stimulation to guide me “towards the books I’m supposed to read".
Question: Any alcoholics on here? And I don’t mean lovers of drinking. It’s always fun to drink. But once the shit becomes an obsession it loses its lovely appeal. Feels terribly shitty when you’re shaking at the cash register. People look at you like something’s wrong. Hell yeah something’s wrong! This ain’t normal.
Don’t take it too freaky though. I’ve been dealing with this for over twenty years. I’m quite well, but I like to talk. It helps, you know.
When my friend died a few years ago it freaked me out. Why did he die? Well, precisely because he tried to go all “straight edge". I was worried, but who am I to give advice. I should have said something. It didn’t seem right, this whole “stop this, stop that" shit. He wasn’t made for it. So, to all those “clean" people: You killed him with your nonsensical bullshit! – And yes, I very much believe that. Liberal “mommy knows it all" bullshit. Leave people alone with your “parental" guidance. All you’re doing is creating a bunch of decaf Starbucks sissies.
Just let me ramble. I’m not angry and much less mean-spirited. I’m a gentle soul with a broken heart, that’s all.
But there is a point in all this. I’m pretty annoyed by all this “health stuff". “Tobacco Free Florida"… Yay! – Reminds me of a line in the TV show Monk: “I had this neighbor, all young and fit, exercised every day, and then one day just bamm, dead." – “A heart attack?" – “No, he was run over by a truck."
No disagreements as to the values of all this health stuff, no disagreements on education that warns of the dangers of smoking and drinking and drugs, etc. But please, leave people their freedom. Not everybody is boring. – And I’m quite aware that I’m not the best example of proper alcohol use, but this idea that “all is well" if we just keep “straightening out" is pretty far deluded if you ask me. Ever watched the news? War all over, torture, human rights shit on every day, and you worry about smoking. Gimme a break.
Once we cleared this place, then, and only then, worry about little shit like that. Actually, now that I think about it, there even was a scene on that in Black Hawk Down, where the captor kinda smugly reminds the American after he turns down a cigarette. Yeah, there’s way bigger problems than smoking.
So… tear me down. Tell me what’s wrong with my opinion. I’ll get back to you later as I do indeed need to study now.
Peace. And don’t ever think I don’t love you.
Michelle,
Life sucks often but it sucks an awful lot more if you are dependent upon alcohol because you will choose to have a drink rather than make life better, granted sometimes choosing to have a drink does make life better, which is fine.
I have been a heavy drinker nearly all of my adult life, I’m 51 now. I did think I wouldn’t be able to cut down and would have to give up (or keep going). Anyhow for the last 3 months I have cut down and I think it will last. I have a simple rule, don’t drink two days in a row. It works for me at least. The dependency weakens from consuming less alcohol and from practicing dealing with situations without it. And I now get the same hit from lower strength beer, so even on the days I drink am drinking less.
Dunno if this helps.
My father and both grandfathers were alcoholic. When I was working, I often had to go to lunch and dinner meetings where alcohol flowed freely. My father and grandfathers also smoked heavily. And in those days, there was usually so much smoke in the air at the meetings that everyone smoked whether or not they lit up. I tried it and got hooked. It took a while, but I realised that I had become habituated. I tried to order soft drinks at the meetings, but that didn’t really work. Then I noticed that smoking was quite closely attached to the desire for a drink. So I threw the eight and a half packs of cigarettes in the trash. I found it was much easier to not drink if I were not smoking.
I never went back to smoking and now, after a hiatus of about twenty years, have one or two glasses of wine before bedtime each evening and none when I go to meetings or lunches.
You may want to try Stephen’s or my approach to see if you can feel better, Michelle.
Occam
Still haven’t gotten to things, can you believe that? I’m an alcoholic, that’s for sure. I’ve downed a six-pack by now and still haven’t opened my books. How will this end? – Pretty good if you ask me. But it does remind me of some AA sessions. Good intentions all day long, and once the sun sets you’re all drunk and nothing got done. And when asked why… I don’t know, it “just happened". Well, it “just happened". I’m getting pissed with myself here. BUT, thanks to this forum I’m straightening out. At least some intellectual stimulation to guide me “towards the books I’m supposed to read". Question: Any alcoholics on here? And I don’t mean lovers of drinking. It’s always fun to drink. But once the shit becomes an obsession it loses its lovely appeal. Feels terribly shitty when you’re shaking at the cash register. People look at you like something’s wrong. Hell yeah something’s wrong! This ain’t normal. Don’t take it too freaky though. I’ve been dealing with this for over twenty years. I’m quite well, but I like to talk. It helps, you know. When my friend died a few years ago it freaked me out. Why did he die? Well, precisely because he tried to go all “straight edge". I was worried, but who am I to give advice. I should have said something. It didn’t seem right, this whole “stop this, stop that" shit. He wasn’t made for it. So, to all those “clean" people: You killed him with your nonsensical bullshit! – And yes, I very much believe that. Liberal “mommy knows it all" bullshit. Leave people alone with your “parental" guidance. All you’re doing is creating a bunch of decaf Starbucks sissies. Just let me ramble. I’m not angry and much less mean-spirited. I’m a gentle soul with a broken heart, that’s all. But there is a point in all this. I’m pretty annoyed by all this “health stuff". “Tobacco Free Florida"… Yay! – Reminds me of a line in the TV show Monk: “I had this neighbor, all young and fit, exercised every day, and then one day just bamm, dead." – “A heart attack?" – “No, he was run over by a truck." No disagreements as to the values of all this health stuff, no disagreements on education that warns of the dangers of smoking and drinking and drugs, etc. But please, leave people their freedom. Not everybody is boring. – And I’m quite aware that I’m not the best example of proper alcohol use, but this idea that “all is well" if we just keep “straightening out" is pretty far deluded if you ask me. Ever watched the news? War all over, torture, human rights shit on every day, and you worry about smoking. Gimme a break. Once we cleared this place, then, and only then, worry about little shit like that. Actually, now that I think about it, there even was a scene on that in Black Hawk Down, where the captor kinda smugly reminds the American after he turns down a cigarette. Yeah, there’s way bigger problems than smoking. So… tear me down. Tell me what’s wrong with my opinion. I’ll get back to you later as I do indeed need to study now. Peace. And don’t ever think I don’t love you.Alcohol causes depression, even if it seems to give you a lift in the short term. Depression increases the desire for more alcohol. It's a vicious cyle you have to break. Otherwise you are doomed to drinking followed by depression followed by more drinking. It will only get worse. You probably don't even give your body and brain a chance to recover from the previous depressive incident. Incidentally, depression does not necessarily manifest itself as despondency. There are other manifestations of it that you might overlook. One is anger at all attempts to help, and you come across as a very angry person when it comes to drinking and any attempt to stop it. That's why you exhibit the angry responses you mention above. It's very easy to convince yourself that that is not what is going on because in your mind it justifies your continued drinking. But you will never be able to accept this until you break the cycle and the only way to break the cycle is to go cold turkey. There is no use in "cutting back." That is simply another broken crutch that got you where you are now. You are your own worst enemy, as all alcoholics are. Lois
Just one reply as to not inflate this thread:
Hey Stephen,
Thanks for your comment. Much appreciated. I’m quite fine today. Once my regular schedule is there I’m totally level-headed. I mean, I drink my wine in the evening, like right now, but I’m not all “boozed-up".
You’re right, life can suck. It can also be very great. But either way, drinking too much, emphasis on too much, usually makes it suck more, whether it sucked in the beginning or not.
I like your “rule". I’ve been to AA a few times, my first meeting was when I was 18, I’m 37 now, but I never went back for long times after those meetings, through the years I mean. I don’t think I belong there, as I’m quite functional if I don’t get on a binge, and the idea to not drink at all… I cannot imagine that for the life of me.
Good point, learning to deal with situations without drinking. I think that’s a biggy. Sometimes it’s just a tiny thing that blows it all, not even worth mentioning, and then it’s like a switch flips. Boom!
What has helped me, although apparently it hasn’t helped all that much yet, is to just take a deep breath, as silly as that sounds, and “become aware of your body". It’s a Buddhist thing, not just a “time out". But anyway.
And yes, thank you. Your comment did help. I just need to let it sink in.
Hi Occam, and thanks. – That’s a good point, that smoking and drinking is related. When you smoke, you somehow crave a drink. When you drink, you somehow crave a smoke. I guess it’s similar with coffee, but there is a relation.
Like I mentioned to Stephen, I can’t see myself not drinking at all, but some sort of schedule is needed so I don’t get into a what I call “spiral". I’m totally level-headed for the most part, but when these “binges" hit me, it’s not like I control them. A weekend becomes four days, and around Christmas it was two entire weeks. I thought I was over such juvenile nonsense. And really what gets me is that I rarely eat. I’m a skinny little something. That’s what makes it hit me worse.
But definitely, I’ll take your advice, all of yours. My school is helping me too, as I have deadlines, which I almost messed up again last night, but it does help immensely, as I do like to study.
Hi Lois,
That’s a pretty deep response, and I fear that you’re correct. I’m not an angry person at all under normal circumstances. I’m the goofball at work and even if I’m “senior" everybody knows they can joke with me any way they like. But drinking does make you aggressive, and I always wondered why.
I’m quite “scared" of your cold turkey advice. I’ve heard it before. I don’t think I can do that. – But I’ll take it to heart nonetheless. If you don’t hear me ramble anymore you know I’m doing well. – But that depression thing… yes, alcohol is a depressant. It lifts you quick, then sends you down the hill. Vicious cycle. – Not sure what to answer you, just know that I listened. And thanks.
Just one reply as to not inflate this thread: Hey Stephen, Thanks for your comment. Much appreciated. I’m quite fine today. Once my regular schedule is there I’m totally level-headed. I mean, I drink my wine in the evening, like right now, but I’m not all “boozed-up". You’re right, life can suck. It can also be very great. But either way, drinking too much, emphasis on too much, usually makes it suck more, whether it sucked in the beginning or not. I like your “rule". I’ve been to AA a few times, my first meeting was when I was 18, I’m 37 now, but I never went back for long times after those meetings, through the years I mean. I don’t think I belong there, as I’m quite functional if I don’t get on a binge, and the idea to not drink at all… I cannot imagine that for the life of me. Good point, learning to deal with situations without drinking. I think that’s a biggy. Sometimes it’s just a tiny thing that blows it all, not even worth mentioning, and then it’s like a switch flips. Boom! What has helped me, although apparently it hasn’t helped all that much yet, is to just take a deep breath, as silly as that sounds, and “become aware of your body". It’s a Buddhist thing, not just a “time out". But anyway. And yes, thank you. Your comment did help. I just need to let it sink in. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Occam, and thanks. – That’s a good point, that smoking and drinking is related. When you smoke, you somehow crave a drink. When you drink, you somehow crave a smoke. I guess it’s similar with coffee, but there is a relation. Like I mentioned to Stephen, I can’t see myself not drinking at all, but some sort of schedule is needed so I don’t get into a what I call “spiral". I’m totally level-headed for the most part, but when these “binges" hit me, it’s not like I control them. A weekend becomes four days, and around Christmas it was two entire weeks. I thought I was over such juvenile nonsense. And really what gets me is that I rarely eat. I’m a skinny little something. That’s what makes it hit me worse. But definitely, I’ll take your advice, all of yours. My school is helping me too, as I have deadlines, which I almost messed up again last night, but it does help immensely, as I do like to study. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Lois, That’s a pretty deep response, and I fear that you’re correct. I’m not an angry person at all under normal circumstances. I’m the goofball at work and even if I’m “senior" everybody knows they can joke with me any way they like. But drinking does make you aggressive, and I always wondered why. I’m quite “scared" of your cold turkey advice. I’ve heard it before. I don’t think I can do that. – But I’ll take it to heart nonetheless. If you don’t hear me ramble anymore you know I’m doing well. – But that depression thing… yes, alcohol is a depressant. It lifts you quick, then sends you down the hill. Vicious cycle. – Not sure what to answer you, just know that I listened. And thanks.I'm glad you were able to listen. If you can make yourself go to AA you might be able to manage without going cold turkey, but you need some support, even if it makes you angry. Best to you. Lois
While AA is effective for many, I understand that it has a religious basis. There have been a number of articles over the years in either or both the Secular and Humanist magazines about their own non-theological programs sort of similar to AA. You might want to check them out to see if there are any in your area.
Occam
Michelle,
How can you drink four days or two weeks (!) in a row? You don’t get a hangover?
While AA is effective for many, I understand that it has a religious basis. There have been a number of articles over the years in either or both the Secular and Humanist magazines about their own non-theological programs sort of similar to AA. You might want to check them out to see if there are any in your area. OccamGood point. I was thinking of AA more generically. SOS is one, located at CFI. Lois
Michelle, How can you drink four days or two weeks (!) in a row? You don't get a hangover?Good evening George... Short answer? No, I rarely get hangovers. Sometimes, but not that often.
Ok, now the long answer. How come?
Hydrate while drinking, and you won’t ever have a hangover again.
“Hydrate”? Lol, a funny word.
I tried everything and I always get a hangover. And it’s getting worse as I age. These days I can have a couple of glasses of wine and I’ll feel it the next day. Not fun. :-S
For what it’s worth…I never had a drinking problem per se but my wife and I got pretty close. One thing we did was to swear off ever drinking when things got bad, like bad news at work, after a fight, depressed for whatever reason. AND we’d even stop ourselves from talking like that…the old “what a shitty day, I need a drink”. Instead we’d have a drink when something positive happened. So there’s that. Then we kinda got lucky and tailed off anyways. BUT I’d occasionally have too much several days in a row. The thing that got me was one night when the family was away for the weekend, I overdid it, really on purpose. I would normally drink say 3 or 4 shots of Everclear (in something! don’t ever drink it straight!!). That night I think I doubled the amount. As the room was spinning I looked at pictures of my kids and wife and that really did it to me. I passed out, woke up with the dog sniffing me to see if I was still alive, puked my brains out. Never went back to anything other than a wine cooler once and awhile.
I never got a hangover when I was drinking, but then I attributed it to the large amount of vitamins I took. :lol:
Occam
While AA is effective for many, I understand that it has a religious basis. There have been a number of articles over the years in either or both the Secular and Humanist magazines about their own non-theological programs sort of similar to AA. You might want to check them out to see if there are any in your area. OccamI was going to point out that AA is religiously based, and as I understand, bordering on a cult. There are secular options, check your area.
"Hydrate"? Lol, a funny word. I tried everything and I always get a hangover. And it's getting worse as I age. These days I can have a couple of glasses of wine and I'll feel it the next day. Not fun. :-SBut I expect if you then had another 6 glasses of wine and then had hair of the dog the next day followed by another six and so on you wouldn't get hangovers. Not that I recommend it.
But I couldn’t have another six glasses. That’s the point. No idea how people do it.
:sick:
I drank everyday to the point of passing out for about 20 years. I always thought I never had hangovers. Then, after I drank my life into a ditch, I got sober. I learned that it was not that I never had hangovers, it was that I never stopped drinking long enough to find out what not being hungover felt like. My cure for a hangover was, don’t stop drinking. Worked like a charm.
Yeah, AA is hard for an atheist to swallow. I had to just about die before I finally went there to get help. I don’t think AA is right for everyone, but it can work for someone whose only chance of survival is complete abstinence. It tends to get worse with time, so the sooner you address your drinking the easier it will be to do so without going to extremes. I haven’t had a drink in 13 years and I don’t feel like I’m missing a thing. I don’t miss loosing my keys, wallet, car, or bike. I don’t need to take a break from my life with a bottle anymore. I don’t know why that seemed like a good idea before, but it makes no sense to me now.
My advice is, if you don’t want to find yourself unable to ever safely enjoy a drink again, face this stuff now and get a grip on it before it has the upper hand.