Though it’s way past my bed time, only four hours last night, Nana’s returned home, I’ll follow in a couple weeks, so I was alone with this little half year old bundle of energy all work day long, till parents got off. Three, half hour naps all day, lordie his nap time is my nap time, usually collectively he sleeps 5,6, at least 4 hours worth, so I am exhausted, a nap earlier helped recharge my batteries but I want to capture this before the rush of days and event forces it ever distant.
I realized something very cool during the wee hours this past Saturday, while up with Li’l G for a diaper changing in the near dark, that went off very well, then a little more feeding and burping, and listening to his breathing, or feeling his grip release as he drifts of into heavenly sleep, {bless you my child :-)} , down he goes into the crib, a little more stroking his curled up little back, (sometimes need more, I mean that little outstretched arm, with hand pumping up and down, placing my finger near his hand, letting him find it and squeeze tight. Talk about heavenly validation.
To let him hold your finger, little one simply wants a little reassurance, by and by the hand releases and baby is sound asleep looking about as angelic a human can.
Each activity as intimate as a dance, in its own way like a lover dance, in that there’s a total focus on the other’s feelings and reactions, his eyes and mind take in everything, especially the person handling said child, and he pays close attention, so I allow him to guide (influence) me through my next moves. If he doesn’t want to drink, (or now giving him first solid foods), fine, we’re done, or in a little bit he changes his mind, fine, have some more.
I have no expectations beyond the most fundamental goals, and I do have all the time in the world (while here), something his parents simply don’t, if they want to keep earning money and all the rest of being young parents. Back to Li’l G since I listen to him, watch him, work with him, I even ask (not just words, sounds how I’m moving him around) if he’s ready for a diaper, or this or that, because I’m expecting him to communicate with me and he will do so because I am receptive, yet not demanding. I work with what he’s giving out.
I have been consistently amazed at how sharp and attuned little one’s are. With a baby one has a chance to appreciate the amazing wonder of our hand as it learns to master holding that bottle, or helping squeeze into his nighties he’s starting to outgrow, etc. Especially that first year when they are all taking in information and being grateful for services rendered, and the ego is a tiny kernel who’s time hasn’t arrived yet.
First the body must develop mastery, to help take care for that crazy Ego, that’s going to take over once it gets a taste of power.
Something mothers have known since for ever, of course men have a way of dismissing what their wives tell them. It’s an idiotic Abrahamic custom permeating all three of his religions. Disgusting actually!, oh but I digress
This thread started about my latest little beautiful cosmic giggle, some would call it an epiphany.
Though I think “sacred” is way over used, I do believe in the experience of Sacred Spaces where we enter a different sense of reality, a timeless aspect we never experience in our busy lives, perceiving the moment as part of an eternal echo, or cord, that runs back through eons of Earth’s Evolution, and that I’ve been blessed to be part of. Getting out into Canyon Lands puts me into places where a sort of timeless deeply peaceful place of awe takes over, and now I was feeling something that wasn’t all that different.
Some describe it like entering a great cathedral or such, but it’s very different, that worshiping human achievement, “God” was simply the excuse. Canyon Lands and its rivers, puts one in touch with geologic deep time and now being part of an ongoing process that glorifies Earth.
From Sacred Places, I was back in this bedroom conversing with this baby boy who was becoming friends with me and realizing this was another Sacred Space and a most sacred activity, and that I’ve always know that, without knowing it.
Interacting with the little one in so many ways, through, … well, through living a day. Observing touching and tasting and learning about the world you were born into, while taking care of the bodily things that come with living.
From the dance of the feeding and settling into bed, to the wonder of having a monitor so you can observe, know the little one’s mood, I like getting there fast because with a little gentle backstroking and reassurance, down he goes. Especially while bouncing back from the chest cold, having his occasional body shaking little fits of coughing. Where it’s nice to be up there fast make sure, phlegm got cleared and all, and breathing okay and back to sleep fast as possible, moments matter during those periods
He needs the sleep and save the waking for his appropriate times for milk and diaper.
Over the years my sisters, now wife, her son and wife have nicknamed me, the baby whisper. And yes it makes me smile, and putting it that way makes me want to understand it better and write about this experience of an infant human, a premature creature, finishing its gestation dependent on others, while learning the expectation of that particular reality in that particular place.
Watching a bundle of squirming miracles past through and beyond its first “sacred” 100 days, then as the body gains mastery, and the ego sprouts, the human minds becomes increasingly dominate, until we have an person that can survive in the environment it was born into.
I realize I have the personality that does totally tune into the little one, and love the connection, not that it’s all truffles and champaign. Today was a tough one, teething figities, bundle of energy up all day, and I should be sleeping right now, but I wanted to catch some of the moment.
Fortunately, nannies is getting over her mild COVID illness, also apparently she was past the contagious phase before coming over here, Mom, Nana and Li’l G tested negative, and I wound up canceling mine, since I only interacted with a few moments here and there, while other three were in close extended contact, and frankly don’t have the time. Not sure when she’s coming back, I’m tired but in no rush, even if we had other chores lined up for me.
A little something to go out on.
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