I Honestly Did Not Believe It

My name is Dean, and I have experienced some things over the course of thirty-three years, and this is my story.

Some history, when I was about four years old, according to Mother, I exhibited behavior consistent with a “child speaking of a past life”. Which I only just learned about. I had done this twice between 1974 and 1975. The first time at four years old we still lived in Bronx, NY. My mother would drive me to school and she would take the same route every day, and, every day I would stare at this one particular house. Finally, I spoke, shocking my mother by saying, “I used to live there. I had a wife and kids.” The second time was after we moved to Deerfield Beach, FL. One day while at the beach, my mother noticed me just standing at the shoreline and staring East at the horizon. She comes over to see if I am all right, my response was to point my finger at the horizon and say, “I used to live over there.” So, I have a couple of these if it makes any difference.

When I was, about eight, I was old enough to understand the church thing, most of it was creepy, boring, and I wanted nothing to do with it. God, Jesus, religion, psychic powers, Tarot readers, Santa Claus, and all other claims of the sort I was vehemently in disbelief of for most of my life. These things annoyed me when they were brought up. I had nothing to substantiate the existence of any of these things. That was until something happened that changed the way I think, well, ever so slightly.

My research tells me that I have Premonitions as the list of possible symptoms matched very well with the experiences that I was having. This was a difficult pill to swallow especially for an at the time disbeliever in all things Bullshit.

· I do not get hairs standing up on my neck.

· I do not feel drawn to specific life choices over another.

· I do not have Premonition dreams.

· I am not shown images of any kind.

· I am always awake.

· I hold no sway over them.

· I cannot call on them.

· They arrive when and wherever they desire.

· They are extremely alarming!

I have never experienced a more dramatic attention getter than this. Example, has your life ever been in jeopardy by as much as a misstep but you got lucky? Bus, train, cliff? Well, it feels like that times two.

I have no Earthly idea where “It” comes from. What could possibly be the origin of these? There are quite a few possibilities: Your brain, God, Jesus, The Holy Ghost, your Guardian Angel, numerous other Angels, Aliens, the Universe, or some other unnamable interdimensional influence. All that I know is that I used to be a regular Human Being, affected by gravity, not really a fan of being rained on. The first seventeen years of my life, if I did not see it, or feel it then it does not exist.

I have never tried to convince anyone of what I experience because it is the work of Hollywood and it is hard for others who have no damned idea what this craziness is to be able to apply theater to reality. Because if they did not see it, or feel it, or hear it then it does not exist. There is that old saying, “you know what you know” which means that I, you, me, we experienced something substantial, and its very nature would prove difficult, if not impossible, to prove or explain to others. Truth be told, I still do not believe anyone claiming to have any ability. To be clear, I do not have an ability.

Well, here is how it happens.

When a Premonition (Prophecy?) arrives, I am flushed with an alarming wave of intensity commonly described as a panic or anxiety attack of which I just learned. Only I did not see it that way because I was seventeen and I never had either before. To me it felt like a 55-gallon drum of water being dumped on my head and rushing to my feet drenching me along the way. All of my thoughts, activities, movement, come to a stop. It now has your complete and undivided attention!

As the wave begins to wane, I literally hear a voice in my head, and it is that of a Woman. A full-fledged Old Testament Biblical experience like the stories in the Bible when God used to talk to his people directly, but nobody else heard it. Am I saying God talked to me? Absolutely not but somebody is talking. I am talking about the real fucking deal. How could this be? This kind of thing is not real.

The voice is loud enough. It is clear, calm, and concise. She speaks formally; does not use words that require an apostrophe. She has a very even-keeled cadence and is not frightening in any way. Not frightening, but that ultimately depends on the message does it not?

I also find there to be something about the number seven that I cannot put my finger on. It applies most of the time but there are other times that it does not. I am aware of numerous instances of the number seven in the bible especially given Genesis.

The First

It was summer 1987, and I was 17 years of age. Some friends and I were out one-night riding around and doing what teens do. While sitting at a traffic light I suddenly felt an intense wave rush over me from head to foot. I have never felt anything like it before. As this feeling waned, I heard a voice speak a phrase. It was not my voice, and certainly not my thoughts, I was too shaken up to have my own thoughts. This voice, She said to me, “Something bad is going to happen.”

I told the other three heathens in the car, eh something. A version of the truth that I created on the spot just for them. I said, “Guys, somethings not right.” I withheld the drum of water feeling, and the “voice”, the usual omittances. All agreed that I looked like I saw a ghost. What I did not realize was that the car we were riding in (not mine) was unregistered, had a license plate from another car, the license plate was invalid, that the license plate light was out, and the license plate was partially obscured by a bumper sticker, the driver had a suspended license all with pot (mine) in the car. I should have stepped out immediately.

We went through the traffic light and I cringed at the thought that it might be an accident. No accident, I felt better. Moments later a police officer turned on his lights and we all went to jail. When it was all over, we came together to discuss everything, getting the car out of the Compound, going to Court, and you better believe they asked me how I knew. They were looking at me very seriously. I thought quickly and I told them that I just had a bad feeling like when the hair stands up on the back of your neck. I was not interested in explaining something that I myself could not. I was having enough trouble digesting it. This was the only bad thing to happen to me. Life returned to normal.

After a few weeks I never gave it much thought. It just slipped away, forgotten.

The Second

It was early 1994 and I am now 24 years of age. It has been seven years since The First. I happened to be with a friend, one actually, that was in that doomed car back in 1987. His new truck that we were riding in was completely legal and, alas, we are much more mature. We were headed to South Beach, Miami for some festivities. It was midafternoon and we stopped at a gas station to pick up some needed items such as cigarettes, cold beverages, and snacks. As soon as we parked, it happened again. I instantly recognized this overwhelming feeling seven years later like it happened an hour ago!

As the wave washed over me from head to foot, I knew what to expect. The first time was unlike anything you might ever experience in your lifetime you simply do not forget it. I waited to hear a voice speak a phrase and She did not disappoint. She uttered the words, “You are going to meet someone.” Oddly, “Ace of Bass – The Sign” was playing on the radio which, you have to admit is funny.

I thought perhaps that I might bump into someone I knew, an old friend at the gas station. Maybe at the festivities? After all, the first one happened within minutes. I met no one that entire day. In fact, I met no one at all until one week, seven days later, when I met my wife. We have been married now for twenty-seven years as of this writing. I met someone indeed. Interestingly enough, the other fella in the truck, he was a diabetic, his health declined and he passed away. I never received a Premonition about him despite him being present for two of them.

The Third

It is 1999 and I am 29 years old. This one is different as it occurs five years after The Second Premonition not seven. This one was fairly simple and there is not much backstory to it. I worked for a company at that time and I was alone in my little office at work when it happened. I was toiling away at my workload, designing websites, and a number of other hats that I wore.

Once again it occurs, and it too came with a message. She said, “Someone is going to die.” Right off the bat, I did not like this message. I started thinking, then worrying.

Why not just tell me who? But not telling me makes sense because I would most likely interfere for the worse. Making someone hysterically terrified instead of letting the message of The Voice play out. Maybe altering the Akashic records in doing so, who knows. And place an unwanted spotlight on myself which would have definitely happened in this scenario.

I considered all kinds of deadly possibilities. Facepalming, they all flashed through my head, so many possibilities. What would we be doing a number of days from then? Was it me? Was it my Wife? Was it someone else? One week (7 days) later, my boss and mentor passed away from cancer. I was completely taken aback; I had no idea he was even ill! The man was still coming to work right up until a few days before he died! This was the only passing that happened in my circle or family.

The Fourth

It is 2001 and I am 32 years old. This one in fact falls seven years after 1994. Perhaps that makes the third one a special message because this thing works in sevens, typically. My wife and I were at home relaxing, she was watching TV, and this time I was working on my computer for my own business. That is when it happened again. I warned my wife that it was happening and she should listen carefully. As it spoke. I repeated Her words verbatim and in real time so that my wife could hear it first person.

It was a rather perplexing message, She said, “Something is going to happen that will affect you, the people around you, or everyone.” She had the pauses at the commas and the same calm inflection as always.

What kind of message is this? I could not make heads or tails of it. It was obfuscated. The scope of the message seemed large in scale. If the message includes “everyone”, it would behoove you to at least consider something epic.

Regardless I started to discuss the message with the Wife. What could it have been? What does it mean? Am I going to a concert? Alternatively, am I to meet a celebrity and accidently run over them? My wife does not understand or really put much stock into these foretellings. We did not say anything more about it until one week, seven days later on September 11.

When we both returned home from work that day, we talked about the days, violence and tragedy. We were heartbroken. Then it hit me and I remembered, then realized the scope of my last Premonition, and I brought it to her attention. Both of our faces changed into that of true horrific surprise and a “no shit” statement. It affected me, the people around me, and everyone.

So far, She is 100%, yes? Much to my horror yes, She is.

I waited seven more years for the next one and that seventh year came and went with no messages. Again, I waited seven more years and it too came and went without as much as a twinge nor a single syllable. I resigned myself to the idea that I may no longer receive them. Perhaps I got too old and some door (mind) closed. I forgot about them altogether.

The Fifth

I never had any use for Religion; I was not drawn to it in any way. I understood faith later in life despite openly opposing it for what amounted to my life thus far. I denounced it at every turn. However, in February of 2020, I felt compelled. It was as if my heart required the Love of The Lord and I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart for the first time. When I did that, I felt a relaxing wave wash over me. It felt familiar and loving but by no means alarming. I felt relieved. I started confessing all of my sins right away “lol”. I do all the talking and the Big Guy just listens. Soooo, I feel good and I am working at becoming a better person. The kind of Guy Jesus would not mind hanging out with. This has been so much fun!

It is now the year 2020 and I am 50 years old. It has been “nineteen years” since my last Premonition. But in May of 2020, I received another one, and I recognized it like I would recognize my own mother even 19 years later.

My Wife, my Mother, my Stepson, and I were having a good time playing Parcheesi. It was a good night; the Sun was just set and that is when the wave came over me. I became quiet; I tried not to let the alarm signals come out in expression. My wife noticed me dealing with something but I said nothing to anyone. I quietly waited for the message. She said, “Dean, you are going to die in a few years.”

I told no one at the time because I was still reeling inside at the information that I had just received from a long dormant but very memorable, and accurate old friend. Besides, the family’s reactions would be wildly varied, and require multiple yet extensive explanations. I revealed nothing that night.

If there is one thing, I have learned with regard to these Premonitions is that these messages are indelible. There are no take-backs, do-overs, alternative options, or mistakes, and She absolutely does not offer a reprieve, ever. She does not reply when I think of Her or call out to Her or just talk to Her. As sure as the Sun will set, Her messages will come to pass.

Why tell me this news? Why give me this knowledge if there is nothing after. Right?

I was with my Wife when I had a breakdown and cried heavily. I told her that I was not ready to go. I thought I would get more time. Live until my 80’s. See man land on Mars. I feel as though I am being called home for some reason. Moreover, just after accepting The Lord?

My family has a hard time processing this particular Premonition. The first four they can see the connections and there are ooohs and ahhhs. Everyone is OK with them. But, when I mention number five, I get, “Aw, no, no, no, that is not going to happen dear”. They suddenly disbelieve something proven time and again. I continue on my way with, “you know what you know”.

It was not until late in my life, and after my fifth Premonition that I consider the origins and the messages. The immense power that an intelligence like this has; it knows things that are going to go soon, or happen years later, and it tells them to me in my native tongue. This means that, there is something more, that there is a path each of us will follow that is littered with free will, and more importantly, that there may be “SOMETHING” after death.

At some point later, the Wife requested that I look into life insurance, “Hey, check out life insurance for us, and you should sign the title for your car.” She is not wrong to want to plan, but she tries to do it in ways that make it barely perceptive as being related to what may very well amount to my last Premonition.

Now the only question is, “What’s a few years?” I’m guessing 2023-2026

@ deanjurbano,

Instead of responding to your subjective experiences, which you attribute to supernatural interference, let me give you a link to a credentialed neuro-scientist who has actually made a study of these phenomena and their causes.

Watch this easy to follow lecture very closely. What may seem as mere remarks contain deep truths and are worthy of your attention.

Anil Seth (anilseth.com)

Anil Kumar Seth is a British professor of Cognitive and Computational Neuroscience at the University of Sussex.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anil_Seth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyu7v7nWzfo&t=8s

Thank you for your response. I watched Mr. Seth’s Ted Talks as recommended. I watched it with great interest hoping to glean something that would work to explain my nightmare. Honestly I found him hard to follow, sorry. When you stated, “which you attribute to supernatural interference”, and after watching the video, I got the impression that current theory is one of which these events occur/originate from our subconsciousness. And not an external source. Quite honestly I was not sure where they came from and this seems plausible.

What I truly need to learn is how to turn this thing off. I probably should have made that clear. Regardless of it’s origins, I need it Off, off for good. I do not want this thing, I do not like this thing. I do not think it is cute, or desirable in any way. I never asked for this. I could have lived my life just fine without some internal subconscious female voice turning me into Nostradamus. Maybe I can escape my premature demise.

If it is neurons and pathways then we have something tangible to work with. Where do I go from here?

Many Thanks,

Dean

Thank you for your response. I watched Mr. Seth’s Ted Talks as recommended. I watched it with great interest hoping to glean something that would work to explain my nightmare. Honestly I found him hard to follow, sorry. When you stated, “which you attribute to supernatural interference”, and after watching the video, I got the impression that current theory is one of which these events occur/originate from our subconsciousness. And not an external source. Quite honestly I was not sure where they came from and this seems plausible.
Yes, Seth is a neural scientist and does NOT believe in external magic. He explains that your brain is completely isolated from the exterior and the only information it gets is from sensory data, which it must interpret and convert into an experience. You reside only in your brain, the rest of your body is an organic information gathering machine and carries you (your brain), where you wish to go.

In order to interpret the incoming information, the brain needs to compare the data with what it has in memory and from this comparison it must make a “best guess”. These guesses can be wrong, especially when the brain has no prior experience of the observed data. This is why we all talk to ourselves. That is part of the self-aware brain. So when you hear voices, they are your own internal voices and not some outside magical communication.

What I truly need to learn is how to turn this thing off. I probably should have made that clear. Regardless of it’s origins, I need it Off, off for good. I do not want this thing, I do not like this thing. I do not think it is cute, or desirable in any way. I never asked for this. I could have lived my life just fine without some internal subconscious female voice turning me into Nostradamus. Maybe I can escape my premature demise.
I am no psychologist, but I am willing to bet that the voice you hear is a memory from your mother, buried deep inside your memory. I suggest to try and recall some of your earliest experiences involving your mother (or female care-giver) giving you advice during a traumatic experience.

When an experience is sufficiently important, the brain stores the incident as an “engram”, a permanent memory which can affect your brain processes years later.

Engram (neuropsychology)

An engram is a unit of cognitive information imprinted in a physical substance, theorized to be the means by which memories are stored[1] as biophysical or biochemical[2] changes in the brain or other biological tissue, in response to external stimuli.

The exact mechanism and location of neurologically defined engrams has been a focus of persistent research for many decades

If it is neurons and pathways then we have something tangible to work with. Where do I go from here?
If the condition is really disconcerting to you I would seek professional help. But you can start with meditation in a very relaxing environment. There are plenty recordings of "healing" sound waves which will connect you to natural relaxing harmonics.

But if Anil Seth went too fast, I recommend that you listen to the lecture several times. I have listened to it about a dozen times and each time I find a deeper understanding of what it is he is conveying. Most of all, that whatever you experience today is a result of 3 billion years of evolution in survival strategies. So, instead of fretting about the voices, try to understand what it is they are telling you. There is nothing to be afraid of, they’re only thoughts. As long as you can glean the positive aspects you’re ok. If they are too disconcerting , find professional help or at least advice from a professional.

As I said before, I am not a professional, but I have strong empathic senses, so I hope this may offer some guidance.

In order to interpret the incoming information, the brain needs to compare the data with what it has in memory and from this comparison it must make a “best guess”.
You say “incoming information”, were you speaking with a potential source in mind for my scenario? To be clear this incoming data is not the guessing kind.
When an experience is sufficiently important, the brain stores the incident as an “engram”, a permanent memory which can affect your brain processes years later.
I’m not sure what may have happened in my childhood to potentially trigger this; I had a great childhood and life! I’m 51 and retired. What part of the brain releases my type of data? This data contains knowledge that I can’t possibly have access to.
So when you hear voices, they are your own internal voices and not some outside magical communication.
For the record I don't hear voices, just the one, and it's been the same since 1987. I'm truly not looking for confirmation of magic, some Godly hand, or ethereal source. I have no experience with these things.
Seek professional help. I am no psychologist, but I am willing to bet that the voice you hear is a memory from your mother, buried deep inside your memory. I suggest to try and recall some of your earliest experiences involving your mother (or female care-giver) giving you advice during a traumatic experience.
Indeed, the only thing they found odd after all of their tests, and scans, were my claims.

Mom is in the other room, it is definitely not her voice, lol. In fact, everyone that I know has an accent (Hispanic New Yorkers). I don’t know this voice other than being related to these events.

The messages are clear, bright, coherent, understandable, and regrettably indelible. The voice is articulate, soft spoken with a calm steady cadence. It’s non-threatening, accent free, perfect English, however, it doesn’t / does not use words that contain an apostrophe; an observation of mine.

You clearly have to take my word for it but I’m not here for fun and games. This crazy thing is real and it happens. I guess I was looking for responses based on the notion that what I am telling you is real. So, let’s pretend for a moment that this thing, is, in fact real. What would you say to someone in my situation? I ask only because I’m very, very pressed for time.

I’m currently 51. I have no major illnesses, I have GERD who doesn’t, it pops up a few times a year, and I see Doctors regularly. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I’m retired. I live life at leisure.

If the condition is really disconcerting to you I would seek professional help. But you can start with meditation in a very relaxing environment. There are plenty recordings of “healing” sound waves which will connect you to natural relaxing harmonics.
Honestly, I’m not living terrorized or in fear. But you do realize that this comes every so many years? This last time it came 19 years after the prior. It’s usually every seven.

 

 

 

 

Hi Dean, Interesting, being contacted by a voice, does it talk in one ear or both at the same time? When this happens is there a cold effect or an electric effect in the air? The next is there a lightness or darkness within the room where this happens.
have you ever seen a light than appears to be Black in color?
Don’t answer the questions on this forum. if any are true just say yes if not do not reply.
I will understand what you mean.
Thanks tom