Favorite Bible Stories

Everyone post your favorite Bible stories. Or just passages if you want. Why? I don’t know. Because. Go ahead and post inspirational ones if you like. I know I will be.
My all time personal favorite is 2 Kings 2:23-24.
23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!” 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number.
Inspirational.

Everyone post your favorite Bible stories. Or just passages if you want. Why? I don't know. Because. Go ahead and post inspirational ones if you like. I know I will be. My all time personal favorite is 2 Kings 2:23-24. 23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, "Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!" 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number. Inspirational.
The cannabilistic ones: And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. (Leviticus 26:29) And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters. (Deuteronomy 28:53) And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them. (Deuteronomy 28:57) "And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend in the siege and straitness, wherewith their enemies, and they that seek their lives, shall straiten them." (Jeremiah 19:9) And he said, If the LORD do not help thee, whence shall I help thee? out of the barnfloor, or out of the winepress? And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son tomorrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son. (2 Kings 6:27-29) Therefore the fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers. (Ezekiel 5:10) The hands of the pitiful women have boiled their own children; They were their food in the destruction of the daughter of my people. (Lamentations 4:10) These were not symbolic, such as being told to eat the body and blood of Christ. They were serious! I don't know how bible believers justify this, but apparently they figure out a way.

Lo, may the real estate mogul profit greatly by pretension of industry upon the sites of land and structures to be sold. (2nd Fav. Book of Trmp)
Oh wait. That’s not from the Bible. It’s “The Art of the Deal”.

Jesus Heals on the Sabbath
3 Another time Jesus went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. 2 Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. 3 Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone."
4 Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" But they remained silent.
5 He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. 6 Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.
There’s a lot going on here, but I’ll save the sermon for another day.

My second favorite is the one Lois did, and my third favorite is a very famous Psalm 137, but everyone leaves this part off
O daughter of Babylon, you devastated one, How blessed will be the one who repays you With the recompense with which you have repaid us.
How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones Against the rock.

My second favorite is the one Lois did, and my third favorite is a very famous Psalm 137, but everyone leaves this part off O daughter of Babylon, you devastated one, How blessed will be the one who repays you With the recompense with which you have repaid us. How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones Against the rock.
Yes, lovely! Lois

Probably my second favorite:
1 Samuel 15:2-3
2 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. 3 Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.”
Stirring.

Genesis 27:11 – But my brother Esau is an hairy man, and I am a smooth man.

:lol: Here’s another good one. Ezekiel 23:20.
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

:lol: Here's another good one. Ezekiel 23:20. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Hmmm, Egyptian men with Hebrew women makes for some kinky porn. Good thing they didn't have the internet in those days.

For humor, gotta go with this
8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?"
10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."
11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"
12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."
13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?"
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate."
Really, it’s God! You can’t HIDE from God. I think the people who first heard this story got the joke, but now we are supposed to take it seriously. Then the finger pointing, straight out of a comedy skit.

:lol: Here's another good one. Ezekiel 23:20. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Woah, I thought that couldn't possibly be what it says, but it is! Sheesh! I figured you made it up!