Touch of Atheism: am I a Loser?! (2)

Here I would like to present an article/letter that I had written to one of my dearest person. I will tell about him at the end of my writing. (this letter was presented under that letter)
Dear Sir,
Respect and love to you. It’s me ANIS, you might forget me. I visited you at 07.05.2012. I went to meet you with an ocean of hopes but I came back with a desert of challenges. I know that you hate to be flattered, but I am sorry that I can’t help saying that meeting with you was like that I had met with Einstein. Sir, I could not have told you 5% of my words, after all, I think I am lucky enough that you gave me relatively enough time without having any appointment. You told me that if someone possesses something extraordinary but can’t do anything for the welfare of people and society then it would be a crime! I am not an extraordinary boy rather I am a very ordinary boy. But I promise that I will give better of my best effort for the welfare of people and for my country. You told me that it seems that I am not a disciplined boy. Yes, I was or I am an indiscipline boy. ……but relatively! I don’t regret what I did but I would regret if I can’t make my future as the way I wish. You are supposed to know that how an individual would respond to a stimulus or to a situation is encoded or programmed into his/her DNA. An individual is nothing but just a replicator of Gene. Now it’s the responsibility of the persons like you to make such an environment so that an individual’s sensory organs can respond positively, logically and rationally.
How a person’s himself/herself is made up? A human infant comes to this world with an almost blank brain and with basic biological need of having foods to survive. Five sensory organs let us to gather information in our brain from the surroundings and environment we are belonged to. I think a person is just a summation of moments and experiences that he/she has experienced. Human being has been evolved through fulfilling five stages of needs. We have five stages of needs and how these needs should be met up is shaped by our culture and society. Needs are-
Physiological need
Need of security
Need of belongingness
Need of status
Need of self actualization
Physiological need refers to foods and sex. People can do anything to meet up this need. But our culture and society impose a way that how this need should be met up. Say, a person may get hungry but he/she is not allowed to steal, a person may lust for sex but is not allowed to rape. When a person fails to cope up with the rules and regulation of society to meet up the physiological need, then definitely she/he will go for other way which might be regarded as a crime or violence of rules. Our ancestors or primitive human being had no civilized society or culture. They didn’t bother doing anything ferocious meeting up their physiological need. Society, culture, rules and regulation are the products of evolutionary process. When a person gets well fulfilled with physiological needs then she/he looks for security of tomorrow so that she/he doesn’t have to face any problem in future meeting up the physiological needs. People save money or something else to minimize the uncertainty of future. To maximize the security of life our ancestors or primitive human being started living in a society and making bond among them, still we have been working on this. Thereby, we feel need for belongingness that’s why we make family, friends and networks. When a person gets well belonged with people then she/he looks for having attention from others or social dignity which is called status. Seems it is the starting point of arising leadership tendency among human being. The leaders set the rules and regulation of the society. They set the standard of right and wrong, bad and good. Thus, a culture is formed in a society. Status is relative issue, not necessary that one has to be a leader to have the status. It is basically showing up to the people that I have contributions to the society and hoping care from the society. People may do good things or bad things to have status in society since bad and good are relative matter. Finally, when a person possesses a strong status into the society then she/he thinks of self actualization. Self actualization refers that where and how a person wants to see herself/himself. More preciously, everyone believes that one day she/he will be no more to this world so he/she wants the people to remember him/her after his/her death. People do noblest job for their self actualization, doing worst things is not atypical too. Someone wants to be great leader, someone wants to be philosopher, and someone wants to be a scientist to actualize themselves. Prophecy is the worst product of need of self actualization.
Sir, I know you are a so busy person. You don’t have time for single individual rather you are busy with macro level, after all, I can’t help begging a full day appointment with you so that I can share all of my unspoken words. I promise I will give you the Bangladesh that you dream of.
You might laugh at me thinking that why I am presenting this to you, you know all of these better than me. Basically to let you know that where is my actual level of need. Honestly speaking, I am in inexpressible complicated situation.
My life may not be worth enough to be written. I am just going to write you that how my thinking, belief, life style and view of life have been changed over the time. Please don’t be bored. I would try my level best to make you visualize my life as maximum as I can.
Now I am going to tell you about my current profile/status/biography. My name is Md. Anisul Islam (nick name Anis or Babu). In my academic papers my date of birth is 2nd January 1987 but my real date of birth is 10 may 1987. My father name is Md. Rehanuddin Bhuiyan. He owns a name of a printing press. The name of the press is Al-Islam Printers. He can earn barely 12000-15000 BDT (about 200 USD) per month. I don’t say that my father owns a printing press rather I say my father owns a name of a printing press because he doesn’t have any equipment for printing press except an out dated desktop computer. He basically does outsourcing. My mother name is Mos. Safia Begum. She is a housewife and hardcore religious. My father is very much pious too. I have two elder sisters, one younger sister and one younger brother. Two elder sisters are married and they live with their husbands. So, my family consists of five members; me, my younger brother and sister, and my parents. My younger sister has chaired for H.S.C exam and my younger brother reads in class eight.
My father is about 60 years old and he is not physically fit enough to work, after all, he is giving his maximum effort to earn money to keep us happy. But the money he earns is not sufficient to bear our family expanse and to support the educational expanse of my younger brother and sister. Basically, now it is my responsibility to bear my family expanses. I need to earn at least 20000 BDT (about 250 USD) per month to keep my family little bit solvent. But I can’t earn more than 10000 BDT (about 120 USD) taka per month (exception has). It is true that I don’t give my maximum effort in earning money and this is my great fault. I don’t believe myself that only achieving economic freedom is the goal of my life.
Now, I am telling you about my qualifications or attributions that I have. I am 25+ years old. My height is 5.10" and weight is 75 kg. My physic is somewhat athletic. I have completed 63 credits out of 124 credits of my under graduation program (BBA) from a private business school (United International University). I was supposed to be an under graduated long before. But now I am not sure enough whether I will be an under graduated or not. Being an under graduated is my dream! Right now I should not think about anything else except earning money. So, what I can do with the qualification that I have, I can have a job with a starting salary of maximum 10000-12000 BDT (about 150 USD) and maybe I will be able to earn maximum 15000-20000 BDT (about 250 USD) per month after two or three years later, since I don’t have any graduation degree. I have some other opportunities too but I can’t grasp any of them because I am a high ambitious boy. Being high ambitious is not positive thing in our culture. I am not high ambitious for having lot of money rather I am high ambitious to know the universe and its phenomenon little bit more. I have strong belongingness and relative status but I don’t feel secured of my future and I can’t meet up my physiological needs properly!;so, it might be seemed silly that I feel so hard for self actualization.
Up to that I wrote to Mr. David Gamble; but I didn’t send him this writing, even I didn’t inform him about this.