The falsity of sleep and sexual desire

So this is news to me, but apparently sleep and sexual desire are false because…they said so. I never saw anything in Buddhism about this but the logic behind sexual desire being false is that it disappears when the object of desire is scattered to the four winds. But how does that make it false? Desire usually tends to arise when you see or think about the person, all he described is how it works (more or less) but that doesn’t make it false.

I have a suggestion for scattering one’s sexual desire, that is much more enjoyable. It is called ogod! aka, having an orgasm.

And sleep? Isn’t there a part of sleep that is restorative to both body and psyche? Maybe one should not quit sleeping.

Did you read the link? It talks about how to overcome such things that we take to be “instinct”.


Though the sexual desire one wasn’t very convincing.

I scanned it. Why would we want to get rid of instinct? Or in other words, and more specifically in this case, why would we want to get rid of our respondent behaviors? and those specific ones. I mean, as I recall, feeling and responding to sexual stimuli being strongly associated with pleasure, so seeking more would seem a better course to me, than getting rid of it would.

Ditto a similar argument but this one with “sleep”.

The first two paragraphs are barely comprehensible. What does he mean? For example,

The love and compassion that are the perfection of the conditionally-produced life is the light of no-self mind, so leaves no place for the sexual appetite and its images.

If you had actually read the article, you would see that the author is not saying that sleep and sex are “false”, he is merely coaching the initiate on how to avoid being distracted by sleepiness and sexual desire while meditating. Oh but wait. Now Xain will be along to tell me that I read it wrong. Whatever you say. :slight_smile:

Well okay, seems to me taking Tim’s advice is spot on. First have that orgasm, then get in your nap, then sit down and meditate with a clear head.

Actually he says that sexual desire is false because it’s temporary

And what pray tell is not temporary?

I don’t know but I think it’s a little bit true. When I did mindfulness meditation I was able to rid myself of my homosexual desires for while.

Oh dude, why do that to yourself? Don’t hate yourself! That’s the worse. If you are gay inside, your fight is with embracing that best as you yourself can - not in trying to kill it, that can never work!

Fundamentally, we are all somewhere on the Hetero Homo - scale. Hell if you admire your own body, you’re on that spectrum with a hint of homosexuality right out the gate. Hating who you are is what turns you into a real monster.

From years within the restaurant business and amongst people of all persuasions I’ve know a small number of Gay Bashers, mostly verbal with the constant stream of vitriol towards queers, but sometimes more. By and by many, (most all!) turned out to be closet gays trying to kill what was going on inside of them, by literally hating and acting out against all who didn’t hide their own homosexuality. I can’t say all, because I don’t have knowledge of all - however having many gay friends you hear things. I do know I have never known a happy heterosexual getting bent out of shape over someone else’s sexuality - unless they are religious freaks, most of whom seems to have the worst sexual freakiness of all, worse than homosexuality if humanity be admitted to. Why should it matter to a happy straight guy anyways, not worth the self-destructive effort.

Xian, find some people you can talk to. Spend your effort figuring out who you are - then work with “who YOU are” to shine the best ya can. Stop reading stuff intended to sell copy. Be very careful whom you trust, but find people you can trust, then talk with them. Face to face, talking it out helps work it out.

Be what ever orgasmic flavor you want to be!!! I wish you the best.




Trust yourself dude.


I think you are in the wrong here. The article notes that sexual desire is false because it vanishes as soon as the object of desire vanishes. Hence why mindfulness and meditation is the key to getting rid of these things, at least from what the article mentions. I tried it once before and for a moment I wasn’t attracted to any men or their naked images, but there was a sort of pressure in my head that was building.

Likely just something that with practice will go away. I know it’s not related to the article or the claim but if I had a choice in the matter I wouldn’t be this way. Makes things needlessly complicated.

No Xain, sexual desire does not vanish after you have an orgasm, it just catches its breath. It’s biology, though guess we humans are in rut more than any other creature, but hey there gotta be some perks for these big heavy brains we gotta carry around.

What are you trying to prove?

To whom?


What’s wrong with figuring out who you are and dealing with it?

if I had a choice in the matter I wouldn’t be this way.
Well, it's possible that's something you have in common with most gay people. No one is looking for that hassle and we have a fucked up society. But, it's still who you are. Battling yourself will only get yourself even more beat up.

Seems to me figuring out who we are and learning to work within that reality. Getting to know the tools and skills that come to you naturally, and then learning how to use them to the best of their potential, best you can.

Something like. Of course, I’ve got no clue what circumstances you exist within, I’m always assuming the freedoms I’ve known, but sadly that’s not true for most it seems. I do know you won’t find answers from book peddlers, you’re stuck having to dig for those from within yourself. Not that you should ignore others, but …


You’ve upped your game Xian. I still don’t know what to believe about you. The article also says sleep comes from false thoughts. Do you think sleepers are bad? Should we cure ourselves of sleeping?

We shouldn’t sleep every time we feel tired. Not while driving for example. We shouldn’t give in to every sexual desire either. Obvious examples. That’s nothing to do with being attracted to whatever.


Naked men, naked women, whatever floats your boat. Be glad you have a boat that floats. Sex good. Sleep good.

I’m just saying what happened with me and meditation, and what he is saying can happen as well. You can overcome sexual desire.

I am at a stage wherein there is not much sexual desire to consider overcoming. More likely resuscitating sexual desire would be an objective. Can meditation do that?