Metoo

  1. Ñ

Not sure I understand.

May be some explanations would be useful ?

The ‘MeToo’ movement has rightly drawn attention to how many women have been harassed or abused by men, usually significantly more powerful men. Unfortunately this has tended to obscure the opposite side of the coin, the number of men who have been mistreated by women.

While numbers are much fewer and cases tend to be less serious, it is no comfort for the men involved. Gender stereotypes and bias means it is difficult for men to find people who believe their version of events.

A few years ago I was accused of sexual harassment. To my horror I realised that if I was listening to somebody telling my story, I wouldn’t believe them. My own gender stereotypes were a good match with those of the wider society. How could I possibly convince anybody else if I would have difficulty in convincing myself.

A female colleague initiated playful banter which was usually of a mildly sexual nature. She was attractive and twenty years younger than me. I have to admit I was flattered. I willingly participated in the banter. Slowly over time the banter morphed into gentle flirting, it became more serious and more worryingly, it became almost constant. We were both married. While I was happy to join in with the initial banter which was fairly innocent if perhaps not suitable for the workplace, I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable with what it had turned in to.

I asked her to stop and although I expected it to be awkward I did not expect what followed. She made an allegation of sexual harassment against me. I was called into a meeting with two very senior managers. They made it plain they didn’t believe a word I said. Although the allegation was not upheld I was past the traditional retirement age and decided to go.

I was unhappy with the procedure for the investigation and asked for it to be reviewed. It turned out they ignored the official procedure and created an ad hoc procedure which denied me most of the safeguards that I was entitled to expect. They refused to interview witnesses who could well have helped exonerate me but even so, on the balance of probabilities the allegation was still not upheld.

I later discovered that there had been two similar cases in the previous year. The women making the allegations were good friends. Was this a case of outraged women trying to push the ‘MeToo’ agenda. Who knows. What I do know is that is that if it was unfair to refuse women a fair hearing then due to gender stereotypes, it is equally unfair to refuse men a fair hearing now. Can we please move forward from the idea of women = true and good, men = false and bad. We don’t eradicate past wrongs by equal and opposite reactions.

 

That doesn’t explain why you used just the Spanish letter. The connection between the two still doesn’t make any sense.

Yep, not getting it