Letter to the Indiana Legislature

The Indiana fiasco means it’s time to revisit a famous letter originally sent to Dr. Laura, but which is even more fitting for the Indiana legislature, presented here as originally written with some minor editing.
Dear Indiana Legislature:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your bills, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle and gay marriage, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… end of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her in Indiana?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual unseemliness – Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense, even Hoosier women.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors even though they are fellow Hoosiers. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? Do the Indianapolis Colts and college football teams wear gloves and does it prevent them from being contaminated by the pigskin?
My uncle has a farm in Indiana. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them or should we bring in the whole state? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do in Indiana with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your fellow Hoosier.
(Thanks to Ken Ashcraft. The writer credited with the original letter addressed to Dr.Laura.)

Good stuff! Worth saving.
However, I wrote twice to both my Indiana State Senator and Indiana Representative before the final vote on the Freedom for Religious People to Discriminate Bill. Neither has replied and both voted for the original bill (the State Senator co-authored it). I doubt they would respond to a letter like the one you posted (although I’m thinking that I should perhaps copy & paste it and send it to them anyway; perhaps “third times the charm”).

Great application for that. There’s a clip for the TV show “West Wing” with parts of it. Never gets old.

Great application for that. There's a clip for the TV show "West Wing" with parts of it. Never gets old.
You didn't include the link, Lausten.
Good stuff! Worth saving. However, I wrote twice to both my Indiana State Senator and Indiana Representative before the final vote on the Freedom for Religious People to Discriminate Bill. Neither has replied and both voted for the original bill (the State Senator co-authored it). I doubt they would respond to a letter like the one you posted (although I'm thinking that I should perhaps copy & paste it and send it to them anyway; perhaps "third times the charm").
They will continue to ignoRe it. Maybe it should be published in newpapers and magazines. THAT might get their attention. Lois
You didn’t include the link
I found it on Snopes]. In addition to the letter, which came out on the Internet in 2000, there is a blurb about The West Wing episode: October 2000 was not Dr. Laura's month. A few weeks after she issued her apology, a version of the "Letter to Dr. Laura" was incorporated into the 18 October episode of the political television drama The West Wing. In "The Midterms," President Bartlet uses his own detailed knowledge of the Bible to make a Schlessinger-esque character named Jenna Jacobs look ridiculous. (Kent Ashcraft, the author of the Dr. Laura letter, received a modest sum from Lorimar Productions in payment for its use of parts of the letter in that episode.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD52OlkKfNs&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Great scene.

Good stuff! Worth saving. However, I wrote twice to both my Indiana State Senator and Indiana Representative before the final vote on the Freedom for Religious People to Discriminate Bill. Neither has replied and both voted for the original bill (the State Senator co-authored it). I doubt they would respond to a letter like the one you posted (although I'm thinking that I should perhaps copy & paste it and send it to them anyway; perhaps "third times the charm").
They will continue to ignoRe it. Maybe it should be published in newpapers and magazines. THAT might get their attention. Lois First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Good stuff! Worth saving. However, I wrote twice to both my Indiana State Senator and Indiana Representative before the final vote on the Freedom for Religious People to Discriminate Bill. Neither has replied and both voted for the original bill (the State Senator co-authored it). I doubt they would respond to a letter like the one you posted (although I'm thinking that I should perhaps copy & paste it and send it to them anyway; perhaps "third times the charm").
They will continue to ignoRe it. Maybe it should be published in newpapers and magazines. THAT might get their attention. Lois First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. Let's hope. Lois
Good stuff! Worth saving. However, I wrote twice to both my Indiana State Senator and Indiana Representative before the final vote on the Freedom for Religious People to Discriminate Bill. Neither has replied and both voted for the original bill (the State Senator co-authored it). I doubt they would respond to a letter like the one you posted (although I'm thinking that I should perhaps copy & paste it and send it to them anyway; perhaps "third times the charm").
They will continue to ignoRe it. Maybe it should be published in newpapers and magazines. THAT might get their attention. Lois First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. Let's hope. Lois I know I'm probably just pointing out the "elephant in the room" but, I grew up in a Christian household, but dropped the concepts and indoctrination by 17. I am now 39 and sometimes I have to "step back" and gaze at the shock and awe of it all. We as a society, live in mass delusion. From religion to advertising, to tons of political propaganda, we live in some kind of "Tim Burton" nightmare, where our free will is hindered by various agendas. It's really scary when I hear people of intellect "preach" about how "intelligent" we are as a species. My parents' lapdogs have a clearer idea of what they are and more free will than we'll ever know. If you don't believe me, try selling religion, politics, or luxury items to a canine.