Hi, I’ll be honest I’m not 100% sure what to write here so forgive me if I share too much. First a bit of background and then on to why I’m here.
I was raised Jewish, but I’m fairly sure I never really bought into it. Like many American Jewish parents mine pushed me to ask questions, the death of any religion if you ask me. Anyway, I eventually fully knew I was an atheist and my parents know I am, but that’s a different topic of discussion. I recently married a raised Catholic, Atheist girl, we don’t think her parents know our thoughts on the subject, but also a different topic of discussion.
Anyway we are just two happy atheist living in Los Angeles. I’ve never been one for organizations, religious or other wise. I’m not sure if one has anything to do with the other, maybe. Secular organizations don’t bother me at all, I’ve just never participated in any. Lately the topic of kids and how to raise them has been on my mind a lot. We don’t currently have any kids, but maybe down the line. I think for the first time in my life I’ve been thinking of joining a group or a community of like minded people to get other’s thoughts, bounce ideas off of people, and all those great things about being a part of a community can provide.
I wasn’t really sure where to start so I came here. I’m sure I’ll swing by the center sometime just to take a look. Any suggestions, thoughts, or ideas are greatly appreciated.
Welcome Tahu,
CFI is promarily a Humanist site. You can find people of all stripes here, though, I believe, most here are atheist or non-denominational. If you read CFI mission statement, you may get a good overview, and perusing some topics which may be of interest may give you an idea of intellectual exchanges.
In any case jump in where you feel you have something to say…
Welcome to the forums Tahu!
(BTW: Non-secular = religious. 
)
We were at a farmer’s market yesterday and there was a booth with big letters basically ‘Come ask me about Jesus’. So we steered clear and told our kids that it was just somebody selling their beliefs. My just turned 13 year old said, “I don’t get religion. I mean… What’s the point?” :lol:
Take care,
Derek
Welcome to the forums Tahu! (BTW: Non-secular = religious. :-) )HA! You are right! My bad. I will fix that, not sure what I was thinking there. And thanks for the welcome.
Welcome Tahu, CFI is promarily a Humanist site. You can find people of all stripes here, though, I believe, most here are atheist or non-denominational. If you read CFI mission statement, you may get a good overview, and perusing some topics which may be of interest may give you an idea of intellectual exchanges. In any case jump in where you feel you have something to say......I will start there. Thank you. :)
Tahu:
Welcome aboard.
As Hillary Clinton says: “It takes a village.”
Welcome, Tahu. You may want to check out the CFI website for a calendar of events to their Hollywood building. Since I live thiry miles south of there, I don’t often bother going to them, but many are interesting. So are the people, quite a few are intelligent and pleasant, but also some kooks. You just have to learn to discriminate and avoid the odd ones.
Occam
Welcome, Tahu. You may want to check out the CFI website for a calendar of events to their Hollywood building. Since I live thiry miles south of there, I don't often bother going to them, but many are interesting. So are the people, quite a few are intelligent and pleasant, but also some kooks. You just have to learn to discriminate and avoid the odd ones. OccamKooks!? In Hollywood!!!? ;) Sorry I had to. Thanks, I think I saw that calendar of events you mentioned while looking around.
My wife and I too are not religious, but Secular Humanists. I was very anti-religion in college, before getting married, and before having kids. We too wondered about whne we had kids. But generally before kids I changed to very tolerant of religion…and then came the kids. We raise our kids to be good people. We don’t force Sec Hum on them though we do let them know that’s what we believe. We also teach that others are by and large good people. BUT…the problem we ran into is that many religious kids don’t share those views. We literally had parents tell their children not to play with our kids because they weren’t christian. We’ve had kids badger our kids about whether they believe in god or not. (We teach them all things religious, etc. are personal, you don’t discuss with others) One kid jumped off the bus, pointed a finger at my son, and pointedly said to my wife who met him at the bus…“Mrs. X your son doesn’t believe in god, he’s gonna go to hell”. This was like a 3rd grade kid, in a pretty well to do, well educated neighborhood. Since then I’ve become way less tolerant.
My wife and I too are not religious, but Secular Humanists. I was very anti-religion in college, before getting married, and before having kids. We too wondered about whne we had kids. But generally before kids I changed to very tolerant of religion...and then came the kids. We raise our kids to be good people. We don't force Sec Hum on them though we do let them know that's what we believe. We also teach that others are by and large good people. BUT...the problem we ran into is that many religious kids don't share those views. We literally had parents tell their children not to play with our kids because they weren't christian. We've had kids badger our kids about whether they believe in god or not. (We teach them all things religious, etc. are personal, you don't discuss with others) One kid jumped off the bus, pointed a finger at my son, and pointedly said to my wife who met him at the bus..."Mrs. X your son doesn't believe in god, he's gonna go to hell". This was like a 3rd grade kid, in a pretty well to do, well educated neighborhood. Since then I've become way less tolerant.Yeah this is the stuff that scares me. I don't know how I would react in that situation. I don't even know how I would want to react in that situation. I grew up in the south (this could happen anywhere but it's more prevalent there) being raised Jewish was hard enough, but mostly from people I didn't really care about. Being a fairly open Atheist to my friends and loved ones caused some issues with a few close Christian friends. It also was sort of a moot thing with some closer friends. I tend to be very tolerant externally and internally is a different story. My poor wife gets to hear me complain a lot. I really do think people should be able to practice and believe whatever they'd like so long as in doing so they don't harm (physically or mentally) anyone else and they don't prevent others from practicing and believing what they want. From the conversations my wife and I have had about how to raise our TBD children, I think we have similar views as you and your wife. Teach them to be good people first. Of course it's easy to talk about but who knows once the time comes how we'll do. I've always said it doesn't matter if my kid one day comes to me and tells me they are a God Fearing Christian or an Atheist, I'm going to ask them the same question... Why? I hope I can teach my kids how to think and not necessarily what to think. Sorry if I'm rambling. It's a tricky issue as you well know.
We’re attempting to do the same and raise them to think for themselves. Although being in the SF Bay Area you don’t really get the ‘So… What church do you go to?’ question.
The other day we were at a farmer’s market and there was a fellow with a booth and big sign (paraphrasing) reading ‘Come to Jesus!’. We didn’t bother to go over. However, our oldest noticed the booth and asked us about it. We explained that it was someone trying to ‘sell’ their beliefs to others. He paused for a moment and then said: “I don’t understand religion. I mean… What’s the point?”
Take care,
Derek
The other day we were at a farmer's market and there was a fellow with a booth and big sign (paraphrasing) reading 'Come to Jesus!'. We didn't bother to go over. However, our oldest noticed the booth and asked us about it. We explained that it was someone trying to 'sell' their beliefs to others. He paused for a moment and then said: "I don't understand religion. I mean... What's the point?" :cheese: Take care, DerekI'd be beaming inside! :)
I'd be beaming inside! :)Yeah, I was. :lol: There's a book I've heard about but not yet read titled Parenting Beyond Belief by Dale McGowan, that gets pretty good reviews. Here's the website: http://parentingbeyondbelief.com Just to be clear, I'm in no way affiliated with the author or the website. As for my 'teaching' attempts for my children, I started by using advertising. Do you really need that? Why are they claiming you do? Can you accomplish the same task with some item we already have? If so, why would be buy something we don't need? What emotions are they trying to evoke? Things like that. Also, I keep questioning them (the older one mostly at this time) on the difference between opinion and fact. (It riles me to no end the number of people who confuse the two! :coolsmile: ) While I haven't had any 'talks about religion' with our oldest, I think my wife has a time or two. Many of our extended family are religious so when they do things, like say 'grace', we just sit quietly and wait for them to be finished. We do try and stress the being respectful of others beliefs, but there's also the need for reciprocity. If they aren't willing to show respect, then they don't deserve your company, friendship, etc. Take care, Derek
I'd be beaming inside! :)There's a book I've heard about but not yet read titled Parenting Beyond Belief by Dale McGowan, that gets pretty good reviews. Here's the website: http://parentingbeyondbelief.com Derek If and when the time comes. I'll be picking up a copy of this for sure. Thanks for passing it a long. I know no book can prepare or teach anyone how to raise kids or deal with things, but it's nice to know that I could learn something from others who have been there done that. :)
And I guess it goes without saying though, the absolute joy of having kids outweighs any religious crap that may come up. 
And I guess it goes without saying though, the absolute joy of having kids outweighs any religious crap that may come up. ;)Indeed! Take care, Derek
Hi, I'll be honest I'm not 100% sure what to write here so forgive me if I share too much. First a bit of background and then on to why I'm here. I was raised Jewish, but I'm fairly sure I never really bought into it. Like many American Jewish parents mine pushed me to ask questions, the death of any religion if you ask me. Anyway, I eventually fully knew I was an atheist and my parents know I am, but that's a different topic of discussion. I recently married a raised Catholic, Atheist girl, we don't think her parents know our thoughts on the subject, but also a different topic of discussion. Anyway we are just two happy atheist living in Los Angeles. I've never been one for organizations, religious or other wise. I'm not sure if one has anything to do with the other, maybe. Secular organizations don't bother me at all, I've just never participated in any. Lately the topic of kids and how to raise them has been on my mind a lot. We don't currently have any kids, but maybe down the line. I think for the first time in my life I've been thinking of joining a group or a community of like minded people to get other's thoughts, bounce ideas off of people, and all those great things about being a part of a community can provide. I wasn't really sure where to start so I came here. I'm sure I'll swing by the center sometime just to take a look. Any suggestions, thoughts, or ideas are greatly appreciated.Reminds me of the Will Rogers quote: "I don't belong to an organized party. I'm a Democrat." There is only so much organization that will happen in atheism. It doesn't lend itself to regimentation. We get together to associate with like-minded people and try to show others that atheism is the rational choice. We have no doctrine to preach except intellectual honesty, which, unfortunately is in short supply. We don't deal in the afterlife. We offer no salvation. Only honest people need apply.