Heard any good jokes lately? II

The first topic with this title got too long and unweildy. So let’s try another one.
Two couples were playing poker.
Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob’s wife, Sue, wasn’t wearing underwear under her dress!
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob’s wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you liked under there?’
Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well, indeed he did.
She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500. After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.
Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn’t, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob’s house at 2 p.m. sharp - and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. Then Jim left.
As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: ‘Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?’
Warily, Sue answered ‘Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.’
Her heart skipped a beat when he asked, ‘And did he give you some money?’
Sue, using her best poker face, replied, ‘Yes, he gave me $500. Here it is.’
Bob took the money and said, ‘Good. He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he’d stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.’
Lois

So that’s where the $500 my first wife gave me came from. :lol:
Occam

A couple was watching a chick flick where the plot hinged on the heroine’s mixed emotions about a guy. The husband turns to his wife and says, “That’s a crock! For a man, something is either good or its bad. I bet you can’t say anything that I’ll feel good about and bad about at the same time.”
The wife thinks for a second and says, “Of all the men who work in your office, you are the most well-endowed.”

A couple was watching a chick flick where the plot hinged on the heroine's mixed emotions about a guy. The husband turns to his wife and says, "That's a crock! For a man, something is either good or its bad. I bet you can't say anything that I'll feel good about and bad about at the same time." The wife thinks for a second and says, "Of all the men who work in your office, you are the most well-endowed."
:) Lois

Q: Why can’t you check mate a Christian?
A: Because they’re all pawns and their king doesn’t exist.