Eyes Staring Out of the Closet

Hello everyone,
I’m new here. I am a divorced social worker who is still in the closet. If you look closely you can see my eyes peeking out. I’m moving out of religion very rapidly at this point in my life. I guess I need to write out my story. I do have a blog. I was a clergy (ordained) in a mainstream denomination until my son died. I just don’t see a plan that makes that OK. I have searched all my life for “something”. I would get into a religion and then argue my way back out. I have also been treated horribly but the brainwashing has made is so hard for me. I’m afraid of the hell I don’t believe in. I could tell you horror stories of the religious abuse I’ve endured but I’m sure you have your own.
I am going to try to write out a blog that says where I’ve been so far. I am nervous but sick of trying to be what others want me to be when, deep down inside, I don’t believe it. People have pretty much walked away from me so I’m currently solo. I just can’t sign on the dotted line.
I had three sons; one is gone the other two are grown up and doing well on their own. I work for the county with the mentally ill homeless and enjoy trivia and beer. I did get an MDiv degree from a seminary in Dayton OH and currently live in Davison MI. I look forward to some good conversations and some much-needed support.

Hello everyone, I'm new here. I am a divorced social worker who is still in the closet. If you look closely you can see my eyes peeking out...
Welcome. I didn't know that being a divorced social worker was a stigmatized class. I encourage you to come out of the closet. In most circles, that I am aware of, people would have no problem with it. :) ...Unless, what you actually mean is that you are homosexually oriented. In that case, in most circles that I am aware of in the US, people are increasingly coming to have no problem with it. Certainly, you will find very few, on CFI forums that would have a problem with it. As far as doing more than peeking from your particular closet, I guess you must make sure there is nothing scary in your more immediate surroundings.
Hello everyone, I'm new here. I am a divorced social worker who is still in the closet. If you look closely you can see my eyes peeking out...
Welcome. I didn't know that being a divorced social worker was a stigmatized class. I encourage you to come out of the closet. In most circles, that I am aware of, people would have no problem with it. :) ...Unless, what you actually mean is that you are homosexually oriented. In that case, in most circles that I am aware of in the US, people are increasingly coming to have no problem with it. Certainly, you will find very few, on CFI forums that would have a problem with it. As far as doing more than peeking from your particular closet, I guess you must make sure there is nothing scary in your more immediate surroundings. Thanks Tim, I am referring to leaving religion. I have people who would be shocked. I am shocked myself. Not about leaving but about finally taking the steps toward being honest. I am being patient with myself, not expecting too much from myself right away. I have had people very angry at me but I'm tired of being what everyone else wants. I found a group near me that I'm going to meet with this Saturday so I'm very excited. Thanks for the reply and welcome.
Hello everyone, I'm new here. I am a divorced social worker who is still in the closet. If you look closely you can see my eyes peeking out. I'm moving out of religion very rapidly at this point in my life. I guess I need to write out my story. I do have a blog. I was a clergy (ordained) in a mainstream denomination until my son died. I just don't see a plan that makes that OK. I have searched all my life for "something". I would get into a religion and then argue my way back out. I have also been treated horribly but the brainwashing has made is so hard for me. I'm afraid of the hell I don't believe in. I could tell you horror stories of the religious abuse I've endured but I'm sure you have your own. I am going to try to write out a blog that says where I've been so far. I am nervous but sick of trying to be what others want me to be when, deep down inside, I don't believe it. People have pretty much walked away from me so I'm currently solo. I just can't sign on the dotted line. I had three sons; one is gone the other two are grown up and doing well on their own. I work for the county with the mentally ill homeless and enjoy trivia and beer. I did get an MDiv degree from a seminary in Dayton OH and currently live in Davison MI. I look forward to some good conversations and some much-needed support.
Have you read Ryan Bell's Blog, Year without God? He is also a divorced clergyman who broke with religion. I suggest you read the blog from the beginning. You will certainly identify with Ryan Bell. "For 19 years Ryan Bell was a pastor, most recently the senior pastor of the Hollywood Seventh-day Adventist Church. In March 2013 he resigned his position due to theological and practical differences. As an adjunct professor he has taught subjects ranging from intercultural communication to bioethics. Currently he is a researcher, writer and speaker on the topic of religion and irreligion in America. In January 2014, Ryan began a yearlong journey exploring the limits of theism and the atheist landscape in the United States and blogs about that experience here at Year Without God." http://www.patheos.com/blogs/yearwithoutgod/2015/01/19/a-conversation-with-michael-shermer-the-moral-arc-video/ Lois

Hang in there, Charlie. Rome was not built in a day. The nice thing about being an atheist is that there’s no card you have to fill out and sign. Take it slowly.

Hang in there, Charlie. Rome was not built in a day. The nice thing about being an atheist is that there's no card you have to fill out and sign. Take it slowly.
Thanks. That's exactly what I plan to do. There is a group near me meeting this Friday. I am going to go and just chat. I want to explore, read, and ask questions. Thanks :)
Have you read Ryan Bell's Blog, Year without God? He is also a divorced clergyman who broke with religion. I suggest you read the blog from the beginning. You will certainly identify with Ryan Bell. "For 19 years Ryan Bell was a pastor, most recently the senior pastor of the Hollywood Seventh-day Adventist Church. In March 2013 he resigned his position due to theological and practical differences. As an adjunct professor he has taught subjects ranging from intercultural communication to bioethics. Currently he is a researcher, writer and speaker on the topic of religion and irreligion in America. In January 2014, Ryan began a yearlong journey exploring the limits of theism and the atheist landscape in the United States and blogs about that experience here at Year Without God." http://www.patheos.com/blogs/yearwithoutgod/2015/01/19/a-conversation-with-michael-shermer-the-moral-arc-video/ Lois
Thanks for the suggestion. I just started reading it and WOW! It's really interesting. I started at the beginning and will read it as he seems to echo what I feel. I appreciate that suggestion.

Great title!
Welcome and looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts.

Thanks Tim, I am referring to leaving religion. I have people who would be shocked. I am shocked myself. Not about leaving but about finally taking the steps toward being honest. I am being patient with myself, not expecting too much from myself right away. I have had people very angry at me but I'm tired of being what everyone else wants. I found a group near me that I'm going to meet with this Saturday so I'm very excited. Thanks for the reply and welcome.
Ooh yes, I can see some of how coming out of that closet could be particularly difficult. One positive function of religion can be that it can provide a social support group. You are giving that up in the name of intellectual and personal integrity. I commend you. But you also have the difficulty, perhaps, that most of your life, including your professional life, to some extent, possibly, has been connected with being a believer. All of us who have come to the conclusion that the label "atheist" fits, are faced with how we will (or will not) interface with others to whom that might be an issue. But for you, it must be most of the people in your life that will have an issue with it. Patience is probably a good tactic. Best wishes.