What I learned by helping others is that they will take advantage of you and come to expect that sort of thing. The only thing people remember is the time you failed at one point, while ignoring all the other times you helped them. I learned that through volunteering and especially through retail (where you see just how awful people can be when your supposed to smile back at them).
People are more likely to remember a slight then a kindness.
We dream because the mind has a day full of experiences to process.Can you be sure about that? Yes we can, because you have shown zero interest in having a reasoned discussion on this topic you raised. You just wave your hands and dismiss every objection without giving any reasons. If you wanted to discuss this sensibly you would present your opinion, back it with logical arguments, consider counter arguments and explain why they are not as strong as your arguments. Instead you posted a question and then dismissed all objections without thought-out rebuttals. So yes, we can be sure we have said enough. Your statement about helping others is at it's base rooted in a desire to feel good by relieving others suffering. In a dream you could just have whatever you desire to replicate that feeling. You essentially don't need other people to get enjoyment. If you want a "better world" you can dream it. If you could stay in such a world, why not? Why come back to reality? You get too bogged down in details and ignore the bigger question.Because it seems to me'nough said. :coolsmirk:
What I learned by helping others is that they will take advantage of you and come to expect that sort of thing. The only thing people remember is the time you failed at one point, while ignoring all the other times you helped them. I learned that through volunteering and especially through retail (where you see just how awful people can be when your supposed to smile back at them). People are more likely to remember a slight then a kindness.I don't believe you actually learned that. I believe you thought it before someone forced you to volunteer, probably because someone told you that and you didn't think for yourself, then you saw what you wanted in the faces of the people you helped. You made up thoughts that they weren't having. You ignored the thank yous. You didn't follow up and find out how they bettered themselves later. Like George Orr in The Lathe of Heaven, the problem is not with the dreams, the problem is with the dreamer. In response to your 2nd post here, you want us to ignore the details, because that's the only place where you question has any substance. There is no bigger question. I'm not going to answer your little questions anymore. I'll talk about how to make dreams become reality or lots of other things, but not whatever it is you are talking about with this one.
Actually I had the opposite attitude when I began to help out. I didn’t believe people when they said its would be thankless and you just get taken advantage of. But that’s what happens, especially when it comes to retail. Your good attitude and smile is part of the job, it’s expected. If you crack even a little bit and show frustration you get reported. And they talk down to you because they know you aren’t supposed to “fight back”. It’s the same for volunteering. People recall when you didn’t show or messed up. It’s a pattern I have picked up around people. They remember the screw ups more than the positives of when you where there.
The amount of thanks you get is sparse and even then it’s more of a formality than genuine gratitude. They act kind because that’s how it’s supposed to be, which makes it hollow.
Take any employee who has worked for a company. You could be there for years and it takes just one screw up to fire you.
Once people see you as nice they come to expect it of you and will take advantage.
You know if you get paid, then it’s not volunteering.
You know if you get paid, then it's not volunteering.I didn't get paid, that's why it was volunteering. But maybe people should. I honestly can't fathom how people put up with it at all.
You know if you get paid, then it's not volunteering.I didn't get paid, that's why it was volunteering. But maybe people should. I honestly can't fathom how people put up with it at all. You talked about "retail" and "employee", they don't relate to volunteering at all. And you are making claims about what people were thinking. Are you a mind reader along with your ability to escape reality?
You know if you get paid, then it's not volunteering.I didn't get paid, that's why it was volunteering. But maybe people should. I honestly can't fathom how people put up with it at all. You talked about "retail" and "employee", they don't relate to volunteering at all. And you are making claims about what people were thinking. Are you a mind reader along with your ability to escape reality? I'm saying that I have done both. But it's the same when it comes to helping people. Also I can reliably say that experience has taught me all of what happens when you help others
Again, my previous points still stand.Excuse me been slow on updating this post _______________________________________
Your statement about helping others is at it's base rooted in a desire to feel good by relieving others suffering.Helping others isn't confined to helping at the soup kitchen or shelter. It's about an attitude towards the people in your life in general. Friendly, ready to lend an ear or a hand, or break some bread together. All sorts of stuff, that you'd never think about in a dream. ___________________________________
I'm saying that I have done both. But it's the same when it comes to helping people. Also I can reliably say that experience has taught me all of what happens when you help othersYeah, people certainly will bit you. But often we set ourselves up for it. Also, you gotta watch that expectations thing. Because you went out of your way to help someone, doesn't mean you get to expect that they start reciprocating or loving you... or other such exaggerated expectations. One of the things that's really helped me through a life that wasn't always as easy or simple as it is these days, is not to get too married to your expectations. Okay, that's impossible. Keep your expectations to a minimum, view them with a bit of cynicism and self deprecation and what can I say a bit of WOO helps... you are a child of the cosmos, go with your flow best you can, stay light on your feet. You'd be surprised the places that's taken people. :smirk: When experiences, or people or things come into your life, treat them with respect, never know, could be a cosmic gift of great value. Never know where a chance event can lead. Never know what a little nurturing can create. If you're willing to embrace the adventure - though the doing is much tougher than daydreaming, it's much more satisfying in the end. Hey, another thought... If all you can think about is how it's all shit. Well, .... Reminds me of an important lesson in mountain driving. If you fixate on that tree, you're going to hit it. Look at where you want your vehicle to go as you're correcting.
Again, my previous points still stand.
Again, my previous points still stand.see above update :kiss:
Does any of that actually work? It seems VEEEERRY suspicious
You know if you get paid, then it's not volunteering.I didn't get paid, that's why it was volunteering. But maybe people should. I honestly can't fathom how people put up with it at all. You talked about "retail" and "employee", they don't relate to volunteering at all. And you are making claims about what people were thinking. Are you a mind reader along with your ability to escape reality? I'm saying that I have done both. But it's the same when it comes to helping people. Also I can reliably say that experience has taught me all of what happens when you help others Yeah, you've got it all figured out. I can see that. You should write a book. Maybe run for Congress.
Again, my previous points still stand.That is all the in-depth analysis we can expect from this guy. He doesn't want a discussion, he just wants to whine about life being boring.
Again, my previous points still stand.That is all the in-depth analysis we can expect from this guy. He doesn't want a discussion, he just wants to whine about life being boring. Because I don't find your reasons to be very compelling about how interesting life is.
Again, my previous points still stand.That is all the in-depth analysis we can expect from this guy. He doesn't want a discussion, he just wants to whine about life being boring. Because I don't find your reasons to be very compelling about how interesting life is. I don't find your lack of reasoning very compelling. I'm not going to apologize for "life". There is huge section in the bookstore about it. Most of it is crap, but you've been given hints here. You've pretty much drained the enthusiasm of this forum. You have become the guy in line at the soup kitchen, needing something from others, then being ungrateful when they get it.
Because I hear the same speech from secular individuals about how life is amazing without really saying why it is. It’s like they think their own enthusiasm is a fact that should apply to everyone else.
Also you guys haven’t really given hints so much as really ignore the main point of the question.
Because I hear the same speech from secular individuals about how life is amazing without really saying why it is. It's like they think their own enthusiasm is a fact that should apply to everyone else. Also you guys haven't really given hints so much as really ignore the main point of the question.There is no main point to the question. Saying fantasy is better than reality is just part of the definition of "fantasy". You asked, "Wouldn't you really like to have that thing that is better than anything you have?" To answer "no" to that would be misunderstanding the word "better". You've got answers about how to achieve dreams, or the consequences of checking out and doing nothing but fantasizing, because those are the only responses that add anything to the conversation. It's sunny out, but I have to work. If you aren't working and there currently is no hurricanes where you are. Go outside.
Tito - I take it you don’t have a love in your life, either a spouse and/or kids. If you did you wouldn’t be asking these questions. Find and fall in love, have kids. THEN you’ll find the excitement of life actually doesn’t reside in you at all, but in others you love. Sounds trite, but only because I’ll bet you don’t have kids.
Because I hear the same speech from secular individuals about how life is amazing without really saying why it is. It's like they think their own enthusiasm is a fact that should apply to everyone else. Also you guys haven't really given hints so much as really ignore the main point of the question.There is no main point to the question. Saying fantasy is better than reality is just part of the definition of "fantasy". You asked, "Wouldn't you really like to have that thing that is better than anything you have?" To answer "no" to that would be misunderstanding the word "better". You've got answers about how to achieve dreams, or the consequences of checking out and doing nothing but fantasizing, because those are the only responses that add anything to the conversation. It's sunny out, but I have to work. If you aren't working and there currently is no hurricanes where you are. Go outside. You clearly missed the part where I said those are "realistic dreams" (or what I call boring), I'm referring to the ones that aren't realistic. You also did not mention any consequences to "checking out", or none that would really be considered a consequence.