"Although perhaps not obvious at first glance, there are actually overwhelming similarities between the Supreme Being of today and this early primate deity who preceded Him," said Dr. Richard Kamen, a leading biologist who also heads Berkeley’s paleotheology department. “The holy chimp moved around on all fours, but its descendants eventually began walking upright to expend less energy while foraging across the infinite reaches of the universe. This of course led to the bipedalism of modern-day God."
The biggest difference between Yahweh and his chimpanzee ancestor is Yahweh didn't fling feces at Adam and Eve as they fled the Garden of Eden.
I don’t understand how the divine Chimp and his predecessor divine organisms evolved, if they were immortal. Nevertheless, this new understanding seems to be a step up from the “theory” of Intelligent Design.
Tim, the article explains. The Divine Chimp lineage evolved into immortality as a survival mechanism. They were not eternal. I guess the biblical types won’t much like this new research.
Oh my Chimp, Pan Sanctorum indeed! I can’t wait until Paleontologists uncover the “sacred book of Chimpdom” outlining the dogma for the group. The alpha male will be the obvious minister who hands down the scriptures from the lawgiver Chimpalmighty. “You may only hold the sacred banana with the left hand while eating; you may only kill and eat chimps outside of your genetically linked group, and etc”. Then of course there will be the inevitable division of the chimp church as the bonobos protest that the laws are too harsh and begin their own branch; the new reformed, previously joined church of the sacred chimp. Not to be outdone, the great apes, whose leader experienced a divine revelation from the god Gorilla thump their chests and form their own branch and look down their noses at the other Pan churches as not being “ape enough”. And thus the story continues today. Thanks for nothing “chimp god” .
Cap’t Jack
"Although perhaps not obvious at first glance, there are actually overwhelming similarities between the Supreme Being of today and this early primate deity who preceded Him," said Dr. Richard Kamen, a leading biologist who also heads Berkeley’s paleotheology department. “The holy chimp moved around on all fours, but its descendants eventually began walking upright to expend less energy while foraging across the infinite reaches of the universe. This of course led to the bipedalism of modern-day God."
The biggest difference between Yahweh and his chimpanzee ancestor is Yahweh didn't fling feces at Adam and Eve as they fled the Garden of Eden.
I still don’t understand how the chimpgod, once he evolved immortality, could have evolved further. I suppose I should just have faith. No doubt the chimpgod works in mysterious ways.
With all due respect, why is a news article being treated as a scholarly source?
Shouldn't a skeptic forum like this try to maintain higher academic standards?
No offense intended
The alpha male will be the obvious minister who hands down the scriptures from the lawgiver Chimpalmighty. "You may only hold the sacred banana with the left hand while eating; you may only kill and eat chimps outside of your genetically linked group, and etc".
Cap't Jack dont you think you are overgenerallizing a little.
Sure they may be some loonies out there, but doubt they are the majority of world faiths.
One of my homeless non-christian friends gets majority of his help from a pastor. I am not Christian, but I can still appreciate that.
With all due respect, why is a news article being treated as a scholarly source?
Shouldn't a skeptic forum like this try to maintain higher academic standards?
No offense intended
The article is a joke. Don't believe anything you read on The Onion. Well, except for that time when GW Shrub got elected President and The Onion ran an article titled Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity in Finally Over. They nailed that one.
Hakim, The Onion is completely satirical. In order to appreciate its humor, one has to recognize its absurdity while also recognizing the irony, that it points out, in that some absurdities (or some aspects of absurdities) actually occur in reality.
Cap’t Jack dont you think you are overgenerallizing a little.
Sure they may be some loonies out there, but doubt they are the majority of world faiths.
Just came back, I'm recuperating a bit and saw your post. I was being completely satirical I.J. And was reacting to the absurbitiy of the story, but that's the Onion for you. I love their brand of humor though. Now reacting to your post, yes there are religious "looneys", fanatics blinded by their particular dogmas and there are individuals who genuinely believe that their role is to serve mankind in any capacity (notice I didn't use the old cliche "To serve Man", it's a cookbook!). BTW, that's ok by me as long as they keep their dogma to themselves. But kindness and altruism aren't derived from religious dogma and it's universal among all primates, including the more intelligent ones.
Cap't Jack