# How does stuff not affect people on here like it does me?
**URL:** https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976
**Category:** General Discussion
**Created:** [July 9, 2024, 8:39pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976 "2024-07-09T20:39:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@inthedarkness](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/inthedarkness)
#### Post date: [July 9, 2024, 8:39pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/1 "2024-07-09T20:39:36Z")
I know I posted some threads, mostly about that pathway to happiness site, but I’m wondering how people here can be ok while I’m stuck suppressing emotions because he said things don’t make us feel and that the feelings come from you and that it’s not like the thing itself is beaming emotions into you or something like that.
I can’t work my way out of it, all I know is that it’s a me issue. But my worry is that he’s right and that I’ll have to “Create emotions” to just be happy about everything and failing to do that means I’m choosing suffering and giving my power away.
Sigh…it doesn’t make sense and I know it’s too long to be able to share it with other people to get their takes on it.
---
### Author:  [@lausten](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/lausten)
#### Post date: [July 9, 2024, 8:58pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/2 "2024-07-09T20:58:49Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> I’m wondering how people here can be ok while I’m stuck suppressing emotions
We aren’t a site for seeking mental health support.
---
### Author:  [@inthedarkness](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/inthedarkness)
#### Post date: [July 9, 2024, 9:56pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/3 "2024-07-09T21:56:39Z")
It’s not a mental health thing it’s a thinking thing. I know everything that has bugged me doesn’t bug others and I want to know how.
---
### Author:  [@morgankane01](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/morgankane01)
#### Post date: [July 9, 2024, 10:32pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/4 "2024-07-09T22:32:07Z")
May be just because people have different level and focus for their empathy.
I could give exemples, but the topic would go away from the question.
May be because ideology interferes.
One thing which bugs me is when facts are denied for alternative realities. Partisans of alternative realities don’t like my position.
---
### Author:  [@coffee](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/coffee)
#### Post date: [July 9, 2024, 10:57pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/5 "2024-07-09T22:57:30Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> It’s not a mental health thing it’s a thinking thing. I know everything that has bugged me doesn’t bug others and I want to know how.
If this is a thinking thing, then please do not refer to feelings and emotions. Those are mental health issues.
---
### Author:  [@inthedarkness](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/inthedarkness)
#### Post date: [July 9, 2024, 11:26pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/6 "2024-07-09T23:26:35Z")
> [@coffee](#):
>
> If this is a thinking thing, then please do not refer to feelings and emotions. Those are mental health issues.
Thinking does affect feelings and emotions, and no like I said it’s not a mental health issue.
---
### Author:  [@coffee](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/coffee)
#### Post date: [July 9, 2024, 11:45pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/7 "2024-07-09T23:45:14Z")
Fine, then are you stuck on a thought? If a thought bothers you, can you switch to another thought? Being stuck on a thought that brings you down is a common problem. When I find myself doing this, I switch contexts by going for a run, volunteering, or having sex.
---
### Author:  [@inthedarkness](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/inthedarkness)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 12:20am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/8 "2024-07-10T00:20:20Z")
None of that works because the topic of the thought impacts all that other stuff, you can find the threads I made on it.
---
### Author:  [@write4u](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/write4u)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 12:29am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/9 "2024-07-10T00:29:32Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> Thinking does affect feelings and emotions, and no like I said it’s not a mental health issue.
For a lighthearted diversion watch a few sets of “Would I lie to You” (WILTY) a British comedy panel on Youtube
I usually watch a few sets before I go to bed and it works wonderfully. Do try it and allow yourself to emerge into wonderful stories that may or may not be true.
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxNydgqSGT8&t=54s)
---
### Author:  [@inthedarkness](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/inthedarkness)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 1:35am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/10 "2024-07-10T01:35:19Z")
> [@write4u](#):
>
> For a lighthearted diversion watch a few sets of “Would I lie to You” (WILTY) a British comedy panel on Youtube
>
> I usually watch a few sets before I go to bed and it works wonderfully. Do try it and allow yourself to emerge into wonderful stories that may or may not be true.
Doesn’t work for reasons I’ve explained before, the stuff I read sorta negates the idea of diversion.
---
### Author:  [@write4u](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/write4u)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 1:47am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/11 "2024-07-10T01:47:16Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> Doesn’t work for reasons I’ve explained before, the stuff I read sorta negates the idea of diversion.
You must allow yourself to indulge in some non-serious diversion.
It is part of the “free will” question. Just decide and watch other people be clever and silly for comparison with your own situation.
---
### Author:  [@inthedarkness](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/inthedarkness)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 2:11am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/12 "2024-07-10T02:11:01Z")
> [@write4u](#):
>
> You must allow yourself to indulge in some non-serious diversion.
> It is part of the “free will” question. Just decide and watch other people be clever and silly for comparison with your own situation.
Brains don’t work that way. You can’t just allow yourself to do that. It’s not a switch I can flip.
From the stuff I read, things don’t make you feel anything. Ergo nothing can make me feel otherwise or distract me. I explained it in the earlier threads.
---
### Author:  [@mriana](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/mriana)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 2:12am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/13 "2024-07-10T02:12:21Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> It’s not a mental health thing it’s a thinking thing. I know everything that has bugged me doesn’t bug others and I want to know how.
I think different things bug people differently. Harm to others, be they human or not human gets to me. As well as discrimination, racism, sexism, etc. All of which goes back to harm to others. I have an over abundance of “empathy neurons” or “mirror neurons”. So it depends on the topic as to whether or not something bothers me. That orange creature trying to get back into the White House again so he can become dictator also bothers me. So, it just depends on the person.
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> From the stuff I read, things don’t make you feel anything. Ergo nothing can make me feel otherwise or distract me. I explained it in the earlier threads.
Have you ever tried activism? Whatever stirs you the most, become an activist for it or against it. Do something to change what affects you adversely.
---
### Author:  [@lausten](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/lausten)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 2:25am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/14 "2024-07-10T02:25:14Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> Brains don’t work that way. You can’t just allow yourself to do that.
A good chunk of the entertainment industry is based on brains working that way.
---
### Author:  [@write4u](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/write4u)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 2:46am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/15 "2024-07-10T02:46:37Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> From the stuff I read, things don’t make you feel anything. Ergo nothing can make me feel otherwise or distract me. I explained it in the earlier threads.
These clips are not impersonal readings. They are stories told by very imaginative people. Your challenge is to guess if they are speaking truth or a lie.
This is not empty entertainment. It challenges your imagination.
Do not just dismiss what could be a new experience. Just give it a try.
10 minutes.
---
### Author:  [@inthedarkness](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/inthedarkness)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 2:58am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/16 "2024-07-10T02:58:11Z")
> [@mriana](#):
>
> Have you ever tried activism? Whatever stirs you the most, become an activist for it or against it. Do something to change what affects you adversely.
No the issue is that what I read changed how I relate to my emotions now. The guy said, things don’t make you feel, the feeling come from you because you create them, so now nothing really makes me feel things because it’s not the thing.
> [@write4u](#):
>
> These clips are not impersonal readings. They are stories told by very imaginative people. Your challenge is to guess if they are speaking truth or a lie.
>
> This is not empty entertainment. It challenges your imagination.
> Do not just dismiss what could be a new experience. Just give it a try.
> 10 minutes.
I’ve tried things like that before, it fails for reasons I’ve explained already. Please don’t insist on something I’ve done before.
> [@lausten](#):
>
> A good chunk of the entertainment industry is based on brains working that way.
But as anyone will tell you they can’t just forget for the same reason that just going on vacation doesn’t solve any problems you have, you just carry it with you to wherever you go. You might be on the beach but if something has really affected you it doesn’t matter what you expose yourself to it follows.
---
### Author:  [@lausten](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/lausten)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 11:32am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/17 "2024-07-10T11:32:19Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> You might be on the beach but if something has really affected you it doesn’t matter what you expose yourself to it follows.
Now you’re saying the entire tourist industry is a lie. For these guys to be right, an awful lot of the rest of the world has to be wrong. They have a point, that you shouldn’t let others tell you how to feel, but you’ve taken that idea and done something with it that doesn’t fit with how feelings work.
---
### Author:  [@mriana](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/mriana)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 11:45am UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/18 "2024-07-10T11:45:47Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> No the issue is that what I read changed how I relate to my emotions now. The guy said, things don’t make you feel, the feeling come from you because you create them, so now nothing really makes me feel things because it’s not the thing.
If others influence you that easily, then it doesn’t sound like you are thinking for yourself. Either way, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to consider counseling.
---
### Author:  [@citizenschallengev4](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/citizenschallengev4)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 1:58pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/19 "2024-07-10T13:58:54Z")
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> it’s not like the thing itself is beaming emotions into you or something like that.
Yeah, but you are interacting with the words and emotion being beamed at you, and absorbed by your senses.
You can’t begin to make headway on the consciousness conundrum until you appreciate it’s an interaction, we impact each other, the particular circumstance impact our feelings, which in turn impacts our behavior. Never ending cycles.
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> But my worry is that he’s right and that I’ll have to “Create emotions” to just be happy about everything
It comes down to the way you are thinking.
Why do you think you have to “create” your emotions?
And how about recognizing your a dualist entities that creates then thinking you, that is your biological creature body connected into its awesome brain which produces your second “you,” thoughts and feelings.
Trying to deny your “feelings” is like denying our body’s sexual preferences. Can’t be done, even if your family and friends think you should - because biology is biology. Forcing oneself into an image that denies their insides leads to all sorts of dysfunctional thinking and feeling and acting out.
> [@inthedarkness](#):
>
> I’ll have to “Create emotions” to just be happy
No you need to get to know yourself first.
Be honest with yourself and what your insides are trying to communicate with your surface consciousness.
You (humans) are part of this world, not some mysterious something dropped in from some other place, work with that. I’m a bit of hot head, and am familiar with the inner warfare, become aware, embrace, direct the energy, neutralize, turn toward achieving goals. Don’t let the highs and lows distract you from the middle ground of sanity and peace of mind.
Appreciate this too will pass, crying your tears, scream your anger, or do you say you don’t have any emotions. As Lausten says
> [@lausten](#):
>
> We aren’t a site for seeking mental health support.
I think you are smarter and more aware than you project, but that’s me, biased by my own early couple decades. Either way, seeking your own help, that is a for real qualified person, not another Fool on the Boat exercising their own confusion on the internet and trying to make a few bucks on the side.
Or, going it alone, feeling isolated from everything else, but committed to figuring out who you are, and why you are here. _Or do you say that’s not the roots of issue you’re struggling with?_
Either way you must be coldly honest with yourself, to make the next steps count.
[Google Search](https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=might+you+be+autistic%3F&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8) has a plethora of helpful information regarding [autism](https://thespectrum.org.au/autism-diagnosis/checklist-adults/).
---
### Author:  [@write4u](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/u/write4u)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2024, 3:20pm UTC](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976/20 "2024-07-10T15:20:45Z")
ADT person usually are vary good at something. Trick is to figure out what that is.
I was watching America has Talent and there were 2 ADT contestants.
Both were rewarded ny the audience with standing ovations and a golden buzzer from the judges.
Find your strengths, then you can leave the corner you have painted yourself in.
[Next page](https://forum.centerforinquiry.org/t/how-does-stuff-not-affect-people-on-here-like-it-does-me/10976.md?page=2)