I’m sorry you’re going through this. Addiction is a bitch. I’ve never experienced that kind of obsession but I have seen it in others very up close and personal. I am not addicted to types except maybe smart people. I love intelligence, wit and snark. So I don’t go in for the hurtful dark side of human desires though I do know they exist.
When I first divorced I experiment with trying a lot of things I never could do before. One path led me to a bdsm club. I was very curious and wanted to learn what drew these people to this lifestyle. It’s was nothing I’d ever experienced before and was shocked and mortified and yet I kept going back because it made no sense and I needed to make sense of it. I learned about dominance and submission and a wide variety of kink including sadism and masochism. I found out I wasn’t very kinky. lol But mostly I found a lot of people have a lot of pain they are desperately trying to excise through one way or another.
The fact that you recognize the issues you have is a huge step. Please, keeping working to address them with every resource you can. People do get broken, but people can be fixed as well. Lots of hard work ahead of you. Avoiding the toxic life is one help thing you can do every day.
Coming here to find intelligent people to help you release some of that frustration is another. 
MzLee